Deeper Than Love
by primadi
Summary: Chapter 16 is up! As Lupin begins to tell Harry the story of James and Lily, Harry soon learns that their love was deeper than true love itself. Please RR!
1. The Beginning of the Beginning

Title: Deeper Than Love  
  
Disclaimers: I own NONE of them characters!!  
  
Authors Notes: Please R+R  
  
~*~  
  
Harry looked around the house. The living room, in which he had just been brought to by floo powder, was of a light blue color. There were chairs all over the small room.   
  
"Where are we?" he asked Tonks, who had escorted him.  
  
Tonks brushed off the dirt and debris off of her clothes and hair. She was about to answer when Remus Lupin appeared at the doorway.  
  
"Welcome Harry." he greeted. "How are you?"  
  
"Professor Lupin!" Harry said, excited to see him. "Is this your house?"  
  
"Yes, it is Harry. It's also the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix," Lupin said.  
  
"Harry dear, you're finally here," Molly Weasley appeared from a room on Harry's left.  
  
"Hi Mrs. Weasley," Harry mumbled looking around the house.  
  
"Ron and Hermione are upstairs. Would you like something to eat?" Molly asked.  
  
"No thank you," Harry said politely. "I'm not very hungry,"  
  
"Well, since you're not hungry, Harry, why don't we go for a walk?" Lupin asked him.  
  
"Sure," Harry followed him to the front door.  
  
~*~  
  
"One reason we decided to bring you here so soon, was because I wanted to talk to you about your parents," Lupin said as soon as they were outside.  
  
Harry stared out into the peculiar shapes of the houses on the block.  
  
Lupin seemed to be leading and Harry followed.  
  
"Ever since you saw Snape's pensieve, it's been bothering me. That you don't know the real story of your parents,"  
  
"The real story? To be honest, it's been bothering me too. I mean, I know at 15 he must've been an idiot...but I'm 15. And I hope I don't seem like an idiot,"  
  
"Well Harry, you've been through more than your father ever has. You've met and escaped Voldemort 5 times, already. At 15, James hadn't escaped Voldemort once."  
  
"Sirius..." Harry stopped at the mention of his godfather's name, "Sirius said that my mum didn't hate my father. Why? When I saw that pensieve, she hated him so much. She even said she wouldn't date him if it was between him and a giant squid," Harry pointed out.  
  
Remus chuckled. "I know Harry, I was there. Lily married your father because she loved him. I know I can't prove it to you, but I can tell you about it."  
  
Harry nodded and Remus continued. "Let's see...I think it was in our 7th year. James and Lily had just been announced Head Boy and Head Girl..."  
  
~*~  
  
"This is insane! I can't work with him!" Lily shouted at her group of friends.  
  
"Of course you can, Lily. For one thing, he's pretty cute.." Liesl Wagner said her eyes sparkling.  
  
"He's small and scrawny, and..."  
  
"He's not small, Lily. He's taller than you are," pointed out Felicia Smith.  
  
"I'll never understand why you two can't get along...it's gone all the way back to our 1st year," said Rachel Bucksworth.  
  
"First year...don't you remember? Those pranks Potter and his gang played on us." Lily gritted through her teeth. "Rachel! Think back...he played it on you too,"  
  
Rachel shrugged. "Well, I've forgotten about it. Can't say you have,"  
  
"He and his friends did everything possible to make sure my first year was as horrible as possible," Lily said.  
  
"Yea, well..." Rachel trailed off. Lily had a point. And it was a good point.  
  
Lily took her seat again. The four girls were on the Hogwarts Express with the rest of the school, on their way back to another merry old year.  
  
"Merry," Lily said angrily.  
  
The slide door opened and in walked James Potter; Lily's worst enemy. Not only was James handsome and charming, he was very intelligent and talented on the Quidditch field. During their 6th year, it had mainly been James and Lily who had been neck-and-neck for the top marks of the class.  
  
"Evans, your head girl this year?" James asked the red-head who was quick to banter.  
  
"You know I am...surprisingly, I thought Remus Lupin would be the head boy,"  
  
"Why Remus? Why not, let's say, James?" James asked smiling. He already knew the answer.  
  
"Because Remus is easy to work with. Remus is decent, and polite. He's the perfect gentlemen. And James is cruel, and mean. And cold-hearted. Did I make my point?" Lily asked angrily.   
  
How could Dumbledore do this to her? Someone must've known that this position would not work out! If not Dumbledore, then McGonagall. If not McGonagall, then Flitwick. Someone! James and Lily were always sent to their offices because of their conduct towards each other.   
  
"Ok, Lily," James said, using her first name, "I'll tell you what. I'll resign from my title as Head Boy if....you go out with me," James finished his sentence quickly.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. James had been trying to get her to go out with him since the 5th year. After all these rejections, you'd think he'd learn something!  
  
"Are you joking?" Lily asked him seriously.  
  
James looked sincere and thoughtful for a minute. Before finally cracking a smile.  
  
"No," he said grinning before bursting into laughter. "And you fell for it!"  
  
"I didn't fall for a thing, Potter! I simply asked..."  
  
"You fell for it!" James burst into laughter again.  
  
"Potter, get out, get out!" Lily shouted, pushing him out of the compartment. "Get out! You're so immature! GET OUT!" she shouted again.  
  
"Fine, fine. Geez, control your temper, Evans. You'll need it if you're going to be head girl!" James cried before Lily gave him a final shove out of the compartment.  
  
"This is going to be one great year," Liesl commented.  
  
~*~  
  
"Professor Dumbledore, I am begging you. Me and James Potter. You've got to be kidding me! He and his gang of friends will only abuse the power!" Lily cried as she made her final plea.  
  
"Miss Evans, one reason I paired you and Mr. Potter up was because I was hoping this arrangement would settle your differences. Your time at Hogwarts is nearly up. You and James are in the same house...don't you agree that you should at least get along? For the sake of all of us?"  
  
"I suppose your right," Lily said uncomfortably.  
  
"Good," Dumbledore said smiling. "Now, let's head down to the feast,"  
  
~*~  
  
"Evans, can I sit next to you?" James asked as he approached her.  
  
"I don't know, can you?" Lily asked sweetly.  
  
James sat down anyways and Lily took a sip of her pumpkin juice pretending she didn't notice.  
  
"Well, I was thinking about what you'd said." James started.  
  
"And what did I say?" Lily asked, as if she was talking to a 5 year old.  
  
James ignored her actions. "I know why you don't like me. It's because I'm competition, isn't it? Sure I may have a little fun once in a while...but I still have top marks in all my classes. In fact, it's you and I who are always at the top, isn't it?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily lied.  
  
"Well, how about a challenge?" James asked huskily. "A wizard's duel. To prove, once and for all, who is the better one,"  
  
Lily finally moved so she could look at him. Lily Evans was by far the prettiest girl in their grade. With flaming dark red hair and stunningly beautiful green eyes. The green eyes were the first thing James noticed about her; her personal attitude was the next. The emerald eyes had a unique touch to him, made him crave something inside. And although he had tried to get her to go out with him for a long time now, she kept refusing and only getting even angrier at him. They had never been friends, more like the worst of enemies. But this year, this year was different. James felt as if this would be his last year to impress her.   
  
"Tonight?" Lily asked, avoiding his eyes.  
  
"Hey James! What are you doing over there! Come on!" Sirius was yelling and waving. Remus looked on at James and Lily, and Peter was eating his chicken.  
  
"Tonight. Meet me in the Quidditch field. Come by yourself." James told her quickly before leaving his seat.  
  
~*~  
  
"Your crazy, James. This is Lily we're talking about." Peter stumbled.  
  
"I know." James insisted.  
  
"And you told her to come by herself?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"But James...she's going to kill you. She's hated you since..." Sirius started.  
  
"I know," James said impatiently. Sirius looked at James for a minute before realizing what he was going to do.  
  
"You're not going to, no...James, you can't!" Sirius cried as he took him by the shoulders and shook him hard.  
  
"If this is what it's going to take, I will," James told him firmly.  
  
"You can't!" Sirius yelled and shook him harder. "She's not worth it! There's plenty of other fishies in the sea!"  
  
"Not anyone like her..." James said.  
  
"Wait, what? What's James going to do?" Peter asked.  
  
"He's going to let her win! He's going to surrender!" Sirius yelled in his face.  
  
"Love makes you do crazy things..." Remus said quietly.  
  
"But, James's not in love with her!" Sirius yelled before catching the quiet look on James face. "Are you?" he finally asked James.  
  
"Maybe," James shrugged.  
  
"You don't even know her! And everyone in this school knows she hates you!"  
  
Students walking by are starting to stare.  
  
"Oy, Sirius!" Felicia Smith, followed by Liesl Wagner and Rachel Bucksworth joined the group.  
  
"Go away Felicia, this is important business," Sirius told her.  
  
"Sorry, actually, we wanted to talk to ames. Lily's really excited about killing you tonight," Felicia said with a straight face.  
  
J  
  
"She's in our dormitory practicing all the hexes she knows. I think she's even practicing one of the three unforgivable curses," Liesl added.  
  
"You're joking, right?" James asked his heart racing.   
  
"You better tell her not to practice. James is going to let her win," Peter told them, making eye contact with Liesl.  
  
"I personally don't even think you should be dueling! On your first night back, too," Rachel said loudly.  
  
"Shh, keep it down, will you?" Sirius hissed checking to see if there were any lurkers listening. Severus Snape passed by the group and Sirius eyes him suspiciously.  
  
"Eavesdropping, were you, Severus?" Sirius asked coldly.  
  
"Hi Severus," Felicia said brightly, to which Severus nodded as he walked by.  
  
"How can you talk to him?" Sirius asked him with as much dislike as Severus.  
  
"How can I not? He helped my in potions...I needed a favor," Felicia shrugged.  
  
"James, are you still going to let her win?" Sirius asked changing the topic.  
  
"Of course...this is the only way she's going to notice me. In fact, if she hurts me bad enough, she might have to send me to the hospital. And she'll feel extremely guilty then, I'll pop the question..."  
  
"You're going to get hurt, on purpose, so Lily will finally agree to go out with you due to guilt?" Rachel asked surprised.  
  
"Sure. If it's the only way..."  
  
"You're pathetic, James. I really expected more out of you," Rachel said, leading the girls to the lake.  
  
"I'm not pathetic, am I?" James asked unsure of himself.  
  
"No, you're just in love..." Remus told him.  
  
~*~  
  
Lupin stopped walking for a minute and looked at Harry.  
  
"What do you think of your father now?"  
  
"You know, during the time I saw the Pensieve and till now, I'd always thought of him as an arrogant little prick. Just like Malfoy," Harry admitted.  
  
"Even when Sirius and I told you we all were idiots,"  
  
Harry nodded. "But now, it seems like...he's matured, somehow. I mean, he was willing to let my mum win...that must mean something, right?"  
  
"It did. In fact, Sirius wouldn't speak to him the entire afternoon because he was angry that James was going to lose purposely. Your father and Sirius were the...they were basically the kings of the school. Everyone looked up to them to be brave and bold...and losing on purpose was just something Sirius couldn't handle,"  
  
"But, my dad did lose on purpose to my mum?" Harry asked, hoping he did.  
  
"Well, he was about to. Sirius had dragged me and Peter to spy on them. Lily had just hexed him, and James hexed her back. But your parents were very strong...James was about to let Lily stun him, when..."  
  
~*~  
  
"I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!! OUR HEAD BOY AND HEAD GIRL, IN A WIZARD'S DUEL!!" McGonagall shouted with disbelief.  
  
James and Lily put down their wands immediately.  
  
"Professor, we weren't..."  
  
"I know exactly what you were doing, Miss Evans! And I am outraged! I expected you two to keep the school in order!" She shouted again.  
  
"It was my idea, Professor," James told her. Lily glanced at James uneasily.  
  
"And Miss Evans just went along for the ride?" McGonagall snapped. "We're going to Dumbledore's office, right now! Follow me,"  
  
~*~  
  
"You just had to get me in trouble, didn't you?" Lily hissed as McGonagall dropped James and Lily off in front of Professor Dumbledore's office door.  
  
"If you didn't notice, Evans," James hissed back in the same manner, "I'm in trouble too. And I took the rap for it," James said before the door opened unexpectantly.  
  
"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans. Come in," Dumbledore greeted them.  
  
"Evening, Professor," Lily said. James muttered his "evening".  
  
"Well, McGonagall has informed me that you two have been dueling?" Dumbledore said, his blue eyes twinkling.  
  
"Yes, sir," James said. Lily nodded.  
  
"Honestly, I thought that matching you two up as Head Boy and Head Girl would teach you how to become, not friends, but partners. I guess I was wrong,"  
  
Lily, who hated disappointing the headmaster, immediately protested, "James and I can work together. Honest...we can. We'll try harder. I'll try harder," Lily promised.  
  
"Have to make me look bad, eh?" James asked her a bit angry. Lily glared at him.  
  
"I think you, Potter, have said enough. You either decide to work with me..."   
  
"Now, Lily. The first step to accepting James as a partner of yours, is to act with kindness,"  
  
"I am being kind!" Lily said losing her temper.  
  
"No, she's not Professor. Evans, here, is being nothing but kind! Kind is how you'd treat your friends! She doesn't treat me the way she treats her friends!" James said raising his voice.  
  
"Because you're not my friend!" Lily yelled.  
  
"How come Sirius is your friend? And Remus, and Peter? Why not me?" James asked heatedly.  
  
"Because they're not immature! They don't hex people for the fun of it! They're not mean to the Slytherins!"  
  
"Not mean to the Slytherins? Sirius! You don't think Sirius is mean to the Slytherins?! Do you even KNOW SIRIUS?!" James yelled.  
  
"Ok, that is enough!" Dumbledore cried. James and Lily turned to look at him. They had forgotten he was in the room.  
  
"You two will both be serving detention tomorrow night. The History of Magic classroom...don't be late." Dumbledore told them, which was their cue to leave.  
  
~*~  
  
"You will both write 'I shall not duel again, especially with my partner'. How many times should we make that?" McGongall asked aloud. "Let's make it 600," she decided. "And no magic. I will be back in 2 hours...and I expect it all to be written," she said, turning on her heel and exiting the room.  
  
Lily, who was seated in the front, far away from James, took out a quill and piece of parchment and started writing quickly. James, on the other hand, took this opportunity to talk to her.  
  
"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked taking a seat in the desk next to her.  
  
"I don't hate you," Lily mumbled without looking at him, and she continued to write her sentences.  
  
"Yes, you do!" James cried.  
  
Lily snapped out her wand at James. "Don't you dare accuse me of anything," she said warningly.  
  
James took his wand out and pointed it at her. "We never did finish that duel,"  
  
"All right, Potter. Let's finish it," Lily said, her mind full of anger as she removed herself from the desk and walked to the front of the room.  
  
"1," Lily started.  
  
"2," James followed her lead. But instead of waiting for her to count to 3, James yelled, "Expelliarmus!" Lily was shocked but her wand had already flown into the hands of James, who then yelled, "Windgardium leviosa!"  
  
Lily floated several inches, and then several feet.   
  
"Let me down, Potter!" she shouted.  
  
"Not until you tell me why you hate me so much!" James yelled back.  
  
"For the last time, I DON'T HATE YOU! NOW LET ME DOWN!"  
  
"NO! TELL ME! NOW!" James demanded to know. He didn't know why this mattered to him so much; no, he did. He was in love with her. He was in love with Lily. And it just broke his heart, shattered it, to know that she hated him so much. But why? Why did she hate him? Was it because of the pranks he played on her their 1st year? Their 2nd year? He'd hoped she'd forget about them...realize that those were only signs of attraction. But she didn't, and finally, in their 5th year, James asked her out. Repeatedly. But still, she kept refusing. Why? He wasn't that ugly, was he?  
  
As he pondered these thoughts, Lily kept floating in the air. James knew that this couldn't make her like him anymore. It'd probably just make her hate him even more. With the swift movement of his wand, James released Lily from the air. Lily landed with a big thud and James yawned and walked back to former seat to start his sentences.  
  
As James sat down at his seat in the back row, he realized that Lily hadn't removed herself from the ground.   
  
"Lily?" James asked hoping she'd respond. But she didn't.  
  
James quickened his pace as he headed towards the front of the classroom. Lily was lying there, her face pale. She wasn't moving.  
  
"Lily!" James cried. He brought his ear to her heart. She wasn't breathing. James picked her up, her head dangling from his arms.  
  
"Help! I need help!" he shouted as he kicked the classroom door. Professor Dumbledore appeared from the cooridor and gasped at what he saw. Lily Evans, Head Girl, obviously unconscious, carried by James Potter, the Head Boy.  
  
"Quick, James, quick! To the hospital ward!" Dumbledore ushered him in the other direction.  
  
~*~ 


	2. A Second Chance

Disclaimers in Chapter 1.  
  
A/n: Thanks for all the reviews!!  
  
~*~  
  
"What happened?" Harry asked impatiently. They had stopped again.  
  
"Well, when your father dropped your mother from the air, she hit her head. It caused a concussion. She was unconscious...."  
  
"Did it, hurt her like, mentally,"  
  
"Goodness no!" Lupin said with a smile. "She woke up a few days later...she was fine, Harry. But your father felt extremely guilty. The days before she woke up, we didn't know if she was dead or not. She had started breathing again, but she wouldn't wake up. James stayed by her side all night, and all the breaks we had between classes."  
  
~*~  
  
"Oh, Lily, I'm so sorry. I didn't...I didn't know. I'm so sorry," James watched Lily's still face as he held her hand.  
  
"Everyone really misses you. There are zillions of chocolate frogs everywhere. There were more, but, Sirius ate some. Sirius misses you too. And Remus. And Peter. And all your friends. The whole school," James told her. Her hand felt warm. She was alive.  
  
"Lily...you may want to know why I, I seem so immature to you. Well, I'm not. At least, in my own opinion I'm not. It's just, I want to impress you. And I thought I have...but, obviously, I haven't." James told her, closing his eyes.   
  
He felt so stupid; he was talking to someone who wasn't listening.   
  
Lily's eyes fluttered as her eyes stung with pain. The room was bright, the sun flowing in from the large windows. Her hand felt warm, her body cold. Someone was mumbling something...  
  
"You know, I've loved you just about forever. Ever since you were sorted, I remember telling Sirius, 'That's the girl I'm going to marry'. It wasn't love at first sight...but merely a coincidence. I know you hate me though." James said sadly recollecting his thoughts. He'd never admitted his feelings so openly before. It felt good, to confess to someone.   
  
"James?" Lily asked blinking. She had finally recognized the voice.  
  
"Lily...are you all right? Are you in pain?" James asked standing up from his chair.  
  
How much had she heard? James wondered.  
  
"I'm fine. My eyes hurt though...can you close the windows?" Lily requested.  
  
"Yea, sure. Of course..." James said running to the windows and closing the heavy drapes.  
  
"Thank you," Lily said weakly. She leaned back comfortably in her bed.  
  
"So, uhh...when did you, wake up?" James asked uneasily.  
  
"Just a second ago," Lily lied. Lily peered into Jame's hazel eyes. "What happened? How long have I been in here?"  
  
"You've been in here for 3 days now," James said avoiding the first question. But something told him that Lily already knew what had happened.  
  
"Oh. Do you have my homework?" Lily asked him smiling.  
  
Why is she being so nice? I nearly got her killed, and she's treating me...well, she's not yelling at me.  
  
"Yea, sure. I have it," James said, reaching down under the bed and pulling out a packet of parchment.   
  
"Thanks," Lily said, taking the stack.  
  
James watched her read the assignments silently for a minute before asking, "Why aren't you mad at me?"  
  
"Should I be mad at you?" Lily asked.   
  
"Of course you should! I caused the accident! I dropped you! You should be angry! You should be yelling at me!" James shouted.  
  
"Well, I'm not, am I?" Lily asked calmly.  
  
"Exactly! Why aren't you?" James asked.  
  
"Because I'm sick of the fighting, James." Lily said, her green eyes meeting his. "We're supposed to work together, to make this year great."  
  
"But..." James stuttered off. He didn't want to fight anymore either...so why was he pushing it?  
  
"You act like you want us to fight, or something," It was more a question than comment.  
  
"I don't...it's just. I guess, I'm surprised," James admitted. Then he smiled. "Thanks"  
  
"For what?" Lily asked confused. James stood up.  
  
"For giving me the chance." James said, before kissing her forehead and exiting the hospital wing.  
  
~*~  
  
Lupin and Harry stopped for a third time, making very little progress on their walk.  
  
"Your father told us all about it later on. I think, even though he denies it, that that scene in the hospital wing, was the real moment he fell in love with your mother."  
  
"When did he say he did?" Harry asked.  
  
"He said that he fell in love with her earlier on...in their 6th year." Lupin shrugged.  
  
"What about my mum?" Harry asked.  
  
"Your mother and I were never very close at Hogwarts. We were friends, but then again, she had many friends. It wasn't until later, after she and your father were married, that we truly became good friends."  
  
"So you don't know?" Harry asked in a curious voice.  
  
"Well, I would imagine it would be in the 7th year. It was near Christmas time, not very long after her accident. Your aunt was getting married..."  
  
~*~  
  
Lily sat on the sofa in the common room as the tears fell from her face. She didn't expect Petunia to name her as her maid of honor, but she had at least expected to be invited to the wedding. Everyone had headed up to bed, but Lily decided to stay a bit longer, since tomorrow was the first day of Christmas break. The common room door opened and Lily thrust her face and tears into the couch.  
  
"Lily? Is that you?" James asked, scunching his eyes to get a closer look. James and Lily had put their differences aside the past couple weeks to fulfill their duties as Head Boy and Head Girl. Although James felt his feelings for Lily growing deeper and deeper, he stayed quiet. Her eyes darted to James, and he recognized the bright green eyes at once. She had been crying; he'd known because she had puffy red marks around the eyes.  
  
James took a seat next to Lily and Lily moved her head so she could look at him.  
  
"What happened?" James asked simply. Lily shook her head.  
  
"I'm fine, if that's what your asking." Lily shrugged.  
  
"You don't want to talk about it huh?" James asked, and Lily shook her head.  
  
James nodded silently but stayed where he was. Lily turned her head and watched the first engulfed in the fireplace. When she finally noticed that James hadn't budged, she turned to face him again.  
  
"Aren't you heading up to bed?" Lily asked, though secretly she wished for some company.  
  
"I'll stay here. With you. If that's all right?" James asked, catching the alarmed look on Lily's face.  
  
"Oh, it's fine." Lily assured him. Lily turned her head again to watch the fire.   
  
James wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to comfort her, make the pain go away. But he didn't want to make his move too soon; he didn't want to make it seem that he was taking advantage of her. So, gently, he took her hand.  
  
Lily was concentrating so hard on the flames when she felt a warm hand take hers.  
  
"You're so cold," James said softly.  
  
"I was...outside before," Lily said. Lily kept her hand in his.  
  
James and Lily stayed there on the couch, their bodies relatively close, their hands entwined. They enjoyed the silence with the exception of the fire, when Lily spoke up.  
  
"My sister is getting married. I wasn't invited," she said simply.  
  
"How do you know? Maybe the invitation got lost," James suggested.  
  
"I know, because my parents told me. My mother and father really wanted me there, but, Petunia...she hates magic. Her new husband probably hates it more than she does," Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
James watched Lily intently. He was so close now, he could see the one wrinkle on her flushed skin.   
  
"Do you regret it?" James interrupted her. Lily looked at James quizically.  
  
"Do you ever regret, being a witch?" James corrected himself. "Choosing the magic world, instead of the world your family lives in?"  
  
Lily looked straight ahead. The thought flashed through James's mind that she had regretted it. "No," came Lily's voice.  
  
"No, magic is...my life. I was meant to be a witch. Even though it separates me from my family, I have no regrets," Lily said firmly.  
  
"That's good..." James murmured.   
  
"Are you doing anything for Christmas?" Lily asked, abruptly changing the subject.  
  
"Oh, probably. I mean...no. Just going home to see the folks. Nothing really important. What about you?"  
  
"I was planning on going back to see my parents too. Except, the wedding is on the day before Christmas Eve. I don't feel, right, going...without being invited,"  
  
"Lily, it's your home too. You have a right to be there...maybe not at the wedding, but in your house," James told her.  
  
"I know. I just, I don't have the courage, I guess," Lily said, wanting him to look somewhere else. Not at her.  
  
"You don't have the courage? How many times have you fought with me? And challenged me? You were brave enough to challenge me, right? And for heaven's sake, Lily, you're in Gryffindor!"   
  
"I know, I know. But, I just don't want to disappoint Petunia on her big day,"   
  
"Then don't go to the wedding. But stop by your parent's house. I'll go with you," James offered. Lily looked at him to see if he was kidding, but his face was completely serious and sincere.  
  
"Will you really?" Lily asked him. James nodded his head.  
  
It wasn't until now that Lily realized how much James had appreciated her. Loving her was one thing, but appreciation was another. He had been trying to get her since the 5th year, and now, in their 7th, his proposal has finally sounded sincere. Most of all, Lily felt that she couldn't refuse. She had barely known him, yet, throughout their years together, all their experiences, she felt like she'd known him her entire life.  
  
"Ok, then. Umm...I'm not packed yet." Lily told him as she stood up.  
  
"Oh, neither am I. I should probably send an owl to my parents telling them I won't be home this Christmas," James said standing up too.  
  
"Ok," Lily said as she released his hand and headed for the girl's dormitory stairs. James watched her and followed. Lily stopped.  
  
"Thank you, James," she said, looking him directly in the eye, as she headed up the stairs.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Should I keep going? Your reviews will determine the answer!! 


	3. Confessions of a Broken Heart

Disclaimers in Chapter 1  
  
A/N: THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!  
  
~*~  
  
"Mummy!" Lily said as her mother answered the door.  
  
"Lily, dear!" her mother returned the hug. "I knew Petunia would invite you! But, she didn't tell us."   
  
"Uhh, mum. Petunia didn't invite me. But, I thought I'd just, stop by for Christmas," Lily told her.  
  
"Oh, of course, darling. Come on, come in. It's freezing outside," her mother ushered Lily and James, who she had just noticed, inside.  
  
"Robert, look who it is!" Lily's mother called into the house. James observed the house full of pictures of Lily and another girl. An older girl. James decided she must be Petunia.  
  
"Lily, pumpkin!" Robert Evans embraced his daughter in a big hug. Jame stayed quiet and his eyes wandered. The house was big; two stories, and James had never seen anything like it. It was a Muggle-house. But it was so fascinating.  
  
"Mummy, Daddy, this is James Potter," Lily introduced. James snapped back to Lily's parents when he heard his name. Staking out his hand, James said, "It's nice to meet you,"  
  
"You too, dear," Lily's mother breathed. "I'm Rose Evans. And this is my husband, Robert," she said introducing her husband, who stuck his hand out to shake James.  
  
"So, are you our angel's boyfriend?" Robert cut to the chase.   
  
"No, sir. I'm just a friend of your daughter's," James told him.  
  
"Oh, ok then. Welcome to London," he said warmly. James glanced over at Lily, who smiled at him.  
  
"Lily, why don't you give James the tour? James, you can stay in the guest room," Robert told him.  
  
"Thank you, sir," James said as he followed Lily up the stairs. There were more pictures on the wall. If Lily hadn't told him the problems of the relationship between sister and sister, he wouldve guessed that the Evans were a very happy family.  
  
"Hey, Lily, is this you?" James stopped at a picture of a little girl with piercing green eyes.  
  
"Yes, that's me," Lily stopped to look at the picture.   
  
"Hey, who did you inherit your green eyes from? You mom and dad both have brown eyes," James asked.  
  
"I know. Petunia has brown eyes too," Lily said. James looked at Lily. Had he upset her?  
  
"I don't know, James. They thought that it would change colors...lots of babies eyes colors change as they grow up. But mine didn't; they just figured that my eyes were special. And with me being a witch and all, I was special." Lily shrugged as she disappeared into a bedroom.   
  
"So, this is your bedroom," James said as he marveled at the flowered wallpaper, ballet pictures, and purple bedspread.  
  
"I was 11 when I last lived here, James. Don't get any ideas," Lily laughed. It felt good to James to hear her laugh.   
  
"But what about your summer vacations?" James asked again.  
  
"Well, summer vacations were summer vacations." Lily smiled again, which made James heart melt. "Hogwarts was my home...I didn't feel like I needed to decorate my room, which I wouldn't even me living in,"  
  
"Good reason," James said nodding with approval. The bedroom had seemed childish; butterflies and little pink hearts hung from the tall ceiling. But it represented Lily as a 11 year old girl. And for that, James found himself liking the room very much.  
  
"I haven't even shown you your bedroom yet," Lily said amused. James looked at her and saw a grin coming on. "It's not that bad, is it?" James asked.  
  
"It's well, it's plain," Lily said. She walked out of her bedroom and motioned for James to do the same. James followed her to a bedroom down the hall. Stepping inside, James saw that it was blue. Very blue. The paint on the walls was blue, the bedspread was blue, the carpet was blue.   
  
"My dad likes blue," Lily said catching the expression of "blue" on James's face. James walked over to the bathroom. The vanity table was blue, the toilet was blue, hell, even the faucets were blue!  
  
"No, Lily, your dad is obsessed with blue," James said, looking up at the ceiling, which of course, was blue.  
  
Lily laughed and smiled at James. "Well, nothing I can do about it,"  
  
"Lily! Dinner!" Rose called from downstairs.   
  
"Come on, we'd better get downstairs. I hope you don't expect too much. My mom's not that great of a cook...and this is Muggle food," Lily said.  
  
"That's fine. You know, I've had muggle food before," James told her reaching the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"Sure, James. Sure," Lily said with a look of disbelief.  
  
Lily and James reached the dining room and Lily took her seat. James looked around at the 6 seats set and wondered where he should it.  
  
"You can sit next to me, James," Lily said, pulling out the chair and patting the cushion. James smiled at her and took his seat.  
  
"You know, I should ask my mum whether she needs help or not," Lily said excusing herself, leaving James by himself.  
  
~*~  
  
James sat and stared at the picture of the Evans family in the dining room. James guessed it had been taken not too long ago; perhaps when Lily was 16. Petunia looked like a rag compared to Lily, whose red hair had been up in a braid and her green eyes sparkling. James knew he was in too deep; if this wasn't love, he didn't know what was. But what about Lily? Was she in love with him? She hadn't made any direct movement or anything...except that night they held hands.   
  
"They told me you were here, but I didn't believe them," a voice said loudly in the kitchen where Lily had disappeared off to.  
  
"Well, they were right," a voice that sounded like Lily's said in response. "Congratulations for the big day," Lily said.  
  
"You're a witch?" A new voice asked coldly.   
  
"Yes, I am. I'm sure Petunia hasn't told you,"  
  
"Oh, she's told me all right. You're so selfish; you become a witch, and cause a burden for your loving sister, your parents..." the male voice told her.  
  
"I'm selfish? And I'll have you know that my parents were very pleased when I got my acceptance letter," Lily said getting angry.  
  
"What's going on here? Petunia, did you say hi to your sister? Have you introduced Vernon?"  
  
"Oh, we've met Dad," Lily said sounding hurt.  
  
James wondered if he should go in. But he stayed put.  
  
"Dinner, is ready," James heard a voice he recognized as Rose's announce.  
  
Lily walked in, her face flushed with anger, followed by another woman, whom James presumed as Lily's sister Petunia. A beefy man walked in next. James decided that he must be Vernon, Petunia's fiancee. Finally, Robert walked in, followed by his wife who brought in bread and salad.  
  
"Petunia, this is James Potter. He's Lily's friend from school," Rose introduced as she sat down.  
  
"He's a friend," Robert said happily, and Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Your a wizard?" Petunia asked rudely.  
  
"Petunia! Honestly, I did not raise you like that!" Rose cried.   
  
"How can you be my mother? Don't you see the ways wizards and witches and people of the magic world are ruining us?!" Petunia cried. "They're trying to take over the world! They think they're so special..."  
  
"Shut up!" Lily shouted.  
  
"Why don't you? Why don't you do one of your magic tricks? WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT!" Petunia yelled. It seemed like she had wanted to say this for a long time.  
  
"PETUNIA! BE QUIET THIS INSTANT!" Robert roared. The dinner table shook and was followed by a long silence.  
  
"It's my wedding daddy. I don't want her here! I don't want..."  
  
"She's not here for your wedding! She's here because it's her home! And we're her parents! And even though you don't want to believe it, she's still your sister!" Rose cried.   
  
Another period of silence. Finally, Lily stood up and ran outside into the backyard.  
  
Robert and Rose watched her go, but neither left their seats.  
  
"I'll go get her," James told them.  
  
"Remember...friend," Robert reminded him. James nodded and walked outside to the backyard.  
  
~*~  
  
As James stepped outside, he saw grass. Green grass. Very green grass. And, something blue. It was big...it was, water. A ton of water. But what was it's purpose?  
  
Finally, tearing his eyes away from the big blue thing, James caught a sight of Lily's red hair under the gazebo.  
  
"Hey," James said as he stepped onto the steps of the gazebo.  
  
Lily's eyes met his. "Oh James. I'm so sorry, it's just...my sister is a bit, hesitant, when it comes to magic. I hope she didn't offend you,"  
  
"Oh, no. It's fine. I wasn't offended. I hope you weren't,"  
  
"I'm always offended at anything Petunia says. She was never like this you know. I remember, when I was 5, and she was 9. My ice cream had fallen. I was bawling like a baby. And Petunia gave me hers. Then, when I went off to Hogwarts, everything changed. She became...different."   
  
James took a seat next to her on the striped cushions and put his arm around her.  
  
"It's typical for muggles not to accept us," James whispered.  
  
"She's not just a muggle. She's my sister," Lily insisted.  
  
"Sister or not, she surely doesn't treat you like a sister," James told her.  
  
Lily looked at James. Their faces were so close that it wouldn't be right if they didn't kiss. Lily broke away from him violently and started pacing around the gazeo.  
  
"James, this can't work," Lily said.  
  
"What can't work? What are you talking about?"  
  
"James...we can only be friends. I mean, I only want to be friends," Lily told him looking into his eyes.  
  
James finally understood what she meant, although he had suspected it for a long time.  
  
"What is it? Am I not cute enough? Smart enough?" James asked.  
  
"No, no." Lily immediately fell by his side on the cushions. "It's none of that. You're perfect, it's just...I want to wait," Lily told him.  
  
"But maybe I don't want to wait. Lily, I've been in love with you since, since the 6th year. And I thought we had something good going...but, I guess we don't,"   
  
"James...it's so complicated," Lily said sounding lost.   
  
"Well, try explaining it to me," James requested.  
  
"I don't want to, all right? Let's just leave it at that...think of it this way, we'll be the best of friends. Isn't that a step up from the worst of enemies?" Lily tried to sound cheerful.  
  
"Yea, right," James said trying to sound a bit more happy. But he couldn't bring himself to do that. Lily looked at him sadly.  
  
"Come on," she tugged on his shirt, "Let's have some dinner,"  
  
~*~  
  
"I remember when your father got back, he was crushed. All the laughter and happiness had disappeared from his face. He insisted he was fine, but we knew he wasn't" Lupin told Harry, as they stopped again.  
  
When Harry didn't say anything, Lupin continued. "He never did tell us that he was so deeply in love with your mother until, until they finally started dating. Which was, near Valentine's Day,"  
  
~*~  
  
For the next couple of weeks, James avoided Lily. Except during their meetings with the prefects and their classes, James and Lily were never seen together. James poked his head in the library, trying to see if Lily was in there. She wasn't, and James breathed a sigh of relief and headed in.  
  
As James found a table to himself, he opened his Transfiguration book and started to complete his homework.   
  
"Hi," Lily plopped herself down in the seat next to James at the same table.  
  
"Hi, Evans," James said trying to sound casual.  
  
"Oh, are we on last name basis again?" Lily mocked. Then she smiled.  
  
"Are you working on transfiguration?" Lily asked peeping over at his paper.  
  
"Yea, but I just finished. Bye Evans," James said as he shoved his parchment and quills into his bag and tried to leave the library as quickly as possible.  
  
"What's wrong, Potter? We never talk anymore...I have the feeling your trying to avoid me," Lily frowned.  
  
James took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to avoid you, Lily. I'm simply trying to get over you...and you're making it extremely hard." James said before leaving the library.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: The "blue thing" James had seen was a pool. ~tv-fan-06 


	4. Through Your Eyes

Deeper Than Love: Chapter 4 ("Through Your Eyes")  
  
Disclaimers in Chapter 1  
  
A/N: A lot of thank-yous are in order! Please review with likes, dislikes, thanks!!  
  
The Eighth Weasley: thanks soo much!!  
  
InvisibleInk: Thanx sooo much! Yea, I like to end the chapter with a nice line!  
  
OtterMoon: haha, yea! James can be a sweetie!  
  
Pat: Omg, you're so sweet!! On your favorites list...I'm SOO HONORED!! Thanks!!  
  
Lara1786: Thanks! I love LIly and James stories too!  
  
blinkemaggie25: thanks!!  
  
SiriusBlack4Ever: LOL! Thanks!!   
  
ruhnasL: DOn't worry, I won't end it like that! Thanks!  
  
liqin-padfooty: SOrry I had to make you wait! I'll try to write faster!!  
  
Hpgirl55: Thanks for reading this chapter, katie! I didn't change too much!   
  
rnarissa: thanks so much!! hope you enjoy this chapter!!  
  
Clare: thanks! I like the flashbacks too!  
  
Cat: Thank you!! Yes, poor Jamesie!  
  
Jen: Thank you!!  
  
Gryffi-gURL88: Thanks!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!  
  
~*~  
  
"Prongs, come on mate. Tell us what's wrong," Sirius said watching James toss and turn on his bed.  
  
"It's nothing. Just, stress, I guess," James said.  
  
"James Potter, stress? Now that is something that's unheard of," Sirius joked. Catching James's face of seriousness, Sirius sat up.  
  
"James, we're your friends. We're here for you...tell us what's wrong."  
  
"Nothing's wrong," James lied.  
  
"Yea, something's up, James. Even I know it," Peter said.  
  
"Even Peter knows it! Bloody hell, the whole school knows! You haven't been the same since you came back from Christmas break. With Lily..." Sirius stopped and mentally slapped himself in the head for not realizing it before.  
  
Remus picked his head up from his book and watched Sirius slap himself.  
  
"Of course, why didn't I think of it before? James, what happened between you and Lily?"  
  
"Nothing happened!" James snapped.  
  
"Something must have. You're miserable," Sirius told him.   
  
There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"Hey, uhh..James, can we talk to you outside?" Rachel asked poking her head in.  
  
"Yea," James said dragging himself from his bed to the door.  
  
James followed Rachel down the boys dormitory stairs until the bottom...  
  
"SURPRISE!!" A loud crowd of Gryffindors shouted as James appeared in the dark common room.  
  
James look bewildered and jumped. "What's going on? It's not my birthday," James exlclaimed, glancing at the balloons, food, and party decorations. Lily slyly walked up to James and handed him an envelope.  
  
James eyed it warily, and his eyes shifted to meet her. "What's this?" he asked, as Lily handed it to her.  
  
"Open it and find out for yourself," Lily said sweetly. Her whole face was grinning.  
  
James opened the envelope, which had been resealed and looked nervously at Lily.   
  
"Dear Mr. Potter," James read aloud, "Upon viewing your performance on a recent trip to Hogwarts, it is my pleasure to tell you that you have been accepted as Seeker for the Chudley Canons," James breathed as he finished.  
  
His eyes darted at his crowd as they looked at him expectantly.   
  
"But, I didn't...I didn't apply," James stuttered. "You have to apply in order for them to come down, and watch, and to get in!" As pleased as James was to have been accepted, he knew that he hadn't applied.  
  
"I applied for you, silly," Lily responded, hoping he wouldn't be mad. James looked uneasily at Lily. Her voice was casual...like she hadn't heard a word of James's confession an hour prior in the library.  
  
"Oh, ok. Thanks, Lily," James said.  
  
"I thought you'd be happy..." Lily noticed the disappointment in his voice.  
  
"I am, but being a Quidditch seeker wasn't really the profession I had in mind," James admitted. "But, still, it was great to have been accepted. Thanks Lily," James said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
A couple of the 1st years sighed romantically as Liesl said, "Well everyone, there's plenty of food," and the crowd headed towards the food table.  
  
"So, what sort of profession were you looking in to?" Lily asked curiously, her bright green eyes big.  
  
"I want to be an Auror," James said simply. He always had, ever since he was 6.  
  
"Jamesie-boy! Man, you made the Canons! And you don't wanna take it!" Sirius slapped his back. Peter followed in the same suit.  
  
"Quidditch isn't everything, Sirius." James told him matter-of-factly. Sirius stood back and gasped.  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with James Harold Potter?" he asked jokingly. Lily excused herself and walked over to talk to Felicia.  
  
"You didn't seem very happy when Lily told you she applied for you," Remus said quietly.  
  
"I was happy, I was thrilled that she cared enough for me to apply." James protested. "But, I don't know. I felt like Lily and I had something good going, and then...she tells me she just wants to be my friend. I mean, she gives me all these signs, and I'm so mad at her. Is it me, Moony?"  
  
"So, let me get this straight. She gives you signs that she likes you..." Remus asked James, and James nodded. "But, she tells you she just wants to be friends?", to which James nodded again.  
  
"Either Lily's in denial, or Lily's in denial. Sure sounds like she likes you," Remus told James. James gazed akwardly at Lily, who was across the room laughing with some 5th years.  
  
"I would," Remus continued, "sit down with her, and really talk to her,"  
  
"We've talked enough." James told him. Remus raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Ok, you've talked enough," Remus surrendered, as he left James and headed towards the food.  
  
~*~  
  
"That was so sweet of you, Lily...so apply for him," Janelle Gerry, a fellow 7th year, told Lily for the 30th time.  
  
"Thanks, again, Janelle." Lily said, a bit annoyed. It was no secret among the girls that Janelle had a huge crush on James Potter.  
  
"I wish I'd had done that. Then James would've liked me for sure," Janelle said confidently. "By the way, Lily, I was talking to Michael Whitter." Janelle started.  
  
From across the room, James watched Lily talked with Janelle. The party was dying down, people were starting to head up to bed.  
  
"Hey, man. I'm beat...you wanna head up?" Sirius asked as he yawned and slapped James's shoulder.  
  
James, who hadn't taken his eyes of Lily, shook his head and said, "I think I'll help clean up,"  
  
Sirius made a face at the mention of "clean" and said good night to James, with Peter and Remus at his tail.  
  
By the time James had said good night to them and others, Lily and Janelle were on their way out of Gryffindor Tower.  
  
"Lily!" James shouted and Lily poked her head back into the common room. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I'll be back in a couple minutes," Lily assured him. "Don't worry...I won't let you clean up this mess by yourself," Lily teased as Janelle pulled her out of James's vision.  
  
James sighed and took a seat on the couch. 1 minute turned into 2. 2 minutes turned into 3. James glanced at the watch on his write unpatiently. Soon, 5 minutes had passed and Lily had not returned. James never did find out what time Lily returned, because he had fallen sound asleep.  
  
~*~  
  
James awoke with a start at the beeping of his watch. Brushing a strand of his hair out of his face, James glanced at the time. It was 6:30...time for breakfast. James groaned as he rolled himself off of the couch. A blanket had covered him. James fingered the wool blanket gently. It was Lily's blanket...it had Lily's smell. James sniffed it repeatedly, extremely giddy that Lily had put the blanket over him. With a grateful feeling bubbling inside of him, James hurried upstairs to take a shower and get dressed.  
  
~*~  
  
As James walked into the Great Hall, he saw Lily already seated with her group of friends. Walking over to her, he whispered, "Thanks for the blanket," into her ear. Lily turned her head, shocked and surprised, and asked, "What blanket?" with a confused expression.  
  
James frowned. It was Lily's wool blanket, he was sure of it. "Your wool blanket. You covered it over me last night," James explained. Lily's confused expression didn't leave her face. "I wasn't back in the tower until 1 this morning..." Lily stopped herself. "And you didn't just hear that," Lily added glancing at the teacher's table.  
  
James's heart dropped. Not only did she not cover him with her blanket, but she had been out until 1 in the morning. "With who?" James prompted.  
  
"Michael Whitter," Lily whispered. "Listen, James...I don't mean to hurt you or anything. I just thought it would make it easier to get over, well, this relationship between us. We're both moving on, right?" Lily asked him. Her answer sounded reasonable.   
  
"Yea, right...good idea," James told her. Lily smiled at him. "Our little secret, ok?" Lily winked at him. Before James could respond, Janelle galloped into their presence.  
  
"James! Did you sleep well last night?" Janelle asked grinning. Noticing Lily at the table, she said, "Lily, I hope you don't mind, but your blanket was on your bed and I knew you wouldn't be back until late, so I borrowed it," Janelle explained.  
  
"I know, James already told me. It's fine," Lily assured her. Janelle took a seat next to Lily.  
  
"So, James...you know there's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. How about it? You and me..." Janelle proposed.  
  
Lily looked up at James expectantly. For a minute, James thought he saw a flash of jealousy and curiosity in James's answer. But then, James blinked and saw Lily peering into his eyes for an answer.  
  
"Uhh, I'll see if I have other plans," James told her quickly. Lily looked at James in surprise, but didn't say anything. James said good-bye to the two girls and headed to find his own friends.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hi, Lily," Rachel said as Lily walked into the girls dormitory.  
  
"Hey, Rachel. Listen, what are your plans this weekend?"  
  
"Well, the rest of us are going to follow you and Whittier around Hogsmeade." Rachel joked.  
  
"Too bad, because Whittier and I broke it off," Lily informed her.  
  
Rachel sat up on her bed and practically leapt onto Lily.  
  
"What happened? Why? How?" Rachel begged her for details.  
  
Lily laughed and gently pushed her away. "Not my type," Lily shrugged.  
  
"Not your type!" Rachel said, looking outraged. "And who is your type?" she scoffed. "James Potter?"  
  
Lily whipped her head to look at Rachel. "James and I are just friends."  
  
Rachel studied Lily for a moment, and then her eyes grew wide.  
  
"You're in love with him," she murmured in realization.  
  
"No, I'm not Rachel!" Lily snapped.  
  
"Yes, you are. It's in your eyes...and, oh, I should've known! When you told me he was accompanying you to your parents house, and applying for him for the Canons!" Rachel cried as she began to piece the puzzle together.  
  
"Rachel, you are completely..."  
  
"I'm right, aren't I? I'm completely right..." Rachel said in a voice that Lily knew she couldn't beat. Lily bit her lip.  
  
"Oh, Lily!" Rachel hugged her estactically. "And to think he likes you too!"  
  
"Not anymore," Lily said and Rachel gave her a curious expression. From then, Lily went on to explain the incident at her parent's house in the gazebo, the scene in the library, and the blanket issue with Janelle.  
  
"He's always loved you, Lily. Only you were too blind to see it," Rachel pointed out. "Go find him. Tell him you love him too,"  
  
"We can't rush into things like this! I may like James, more than a friend, but I don't love him," Lily said.  
  
Rachel studied her eyes one more time. Lily felt like she was the top suspect in a crime and was being interrogated by an officer.  
  
"You do," Rachel breathed again. "You do love him," she said determindly.  
  
"That's great, Dr. Rachel. Now if you'll excuse me, I have homework to do," Lily said grabbing some books and leaving Rachel to herself.  
  
~*~  
  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! More to come!! Please review!! 


	5. A Ride in the Night

Scratch, scratch, scratch went the sound of Lily's quill. Potions, her least favorite subject. She was in the common room finishing up her homework. The flames engulfed the room, filling it with light. But the mood was dim. Lily had tried to avoid James all day. She was helping him, wasn't she? To help him get over her....but a part of Lily wanted to see him; just once more. Another look, another conversation, with James Potter.   
  
A swish of gold caught the corner of Lily's eyes. Lily stopped and listened. There was a swishing noise outside. Lily stood up and abandoned her assignments and headed to the window.  
  
A broomstick was in the air. And on it, was the Gryffindor Seeker. Lily shrugged and decided to finish up her potions essay and then start her transfiguration homework. As she picked up her quill, she discovered that her heart wasn't into the homework. But more of a midnight flight.  
  
"This won't be helping James," Lily muttered to herself. But she couldn't resist. Grabbing her cloak, she dashed out of the Gryffindor Common room.  
  
~*~  
  
It felt good to feel the wind through his hair, James decided. He hadn't seen Lily all day. Ever since the early morning, with Janelle. But not seeing the red-headed, green-eyed beauty causeed him more pain than he could ever admit.  
  
He did a couple loops before he heard a squeak. The squeaking of shoes on the green grass.  
  
Turning his head, he was surprised to find Lily watching him.  
  
"It's a bit late, don't you think?" Lily asked. Although it sounded like a rude question, Lily's tone was different. It was a quiet question, one that she didn't expect to be answered.  
  
James stared at her and wondered what time it actually was. He had a tendency to lose track of time whenever he was flying.  
  
"What are you doing up this late?" James asked her. Lily shrugged.  
  
"Potions essay," she said smiling. James found himself smiling with her.  
  
"Ahh, yes. Potions...I still have to finish that. I'll do it in the morning," James decided.  
  
"I have transfiguration too," Lily told him. James's eyes twinkling. Transfiguration, his favorite subject.  
  
"You do? I've already done my transfiguration. Do you need help, or anything?" Part of James wanted to stay outside and fly a little bit longer, but another part wanted to spend time with Lily. James slapped his head mentally. He was supposed to be getting over her!  
  
"That'd be great." Lily said enthusiastically. She certainly hadn't expected to gain a night of help from James. Secretly, she was pleased.  
  
"One last ride," James promised. He eyed Lily, and then said, in a somewhat pleading tone, "Want a ride?"  
  
Lily wanted to accept. So badly she didn't know. But, she didn't. "Uhh, no. That's all right, I'll just wait here for you,"  
  
"Come on, Evans," James said in a teasing tone, "I won't bite. Come on, one ride."   
  
Lily couldn't resist. Sighing, she walked over and James pulled her onto the broomstick and wrapped his arms around her. Lily shivered.  
  
"Just to make sure you don't fall off," James whispered. Lily's heart began to race. So did the broom. It started off a bit fast, but James sensed Lily was nervous, so he slowed the pace down. Soon, they were flying as high as the sky at a very slow rate. Needless to say, it was very romantic.  
  
Lily felt James's arms grip tighter onto her. She could see every wrinkle of the moon now, and James seemed to be enjoying it.   
  
"It's nice, isn't it?" James whispered dreamily.  
  
"What is?" Lily whispered back. As much as she tried not get sucked into a romantic warp, it was extremely hard. But soon, she was in. Lily found herself in a world with James and the moon...no Hogwarts, no Janelle, and most of all, no feelings to contradict the actual ones she was experiencing.  
  
"To be able to escape," James said. Lily smiled, but didn't say anything.  
  
Soon, the broomstick was lowering down back to Hogwarts and James snapped out of his dreamy gaze. Lily had seemed to lean back into his arms. James hugged her tightly, sucking in her scent.  
  
"Lily?" James whispered so quietly he was sure Lily hadn't heard him.  
  
"Yea?" Lily murmured.   
  
James wanted to tell her he loved her. It seemed like the right moment, too. But, something held him back.   
  
Lily waited for James to continue, but he didn't. Lily turned to look at him, and found him biting his lip. James finally caught Lily watching him and smiled.   
  
"It's nothing," James shrugged.  
  
"No, tell me." Lily insisted. She hated not knowing things.  
  
James bit his lip again. "You have beautiful eyes," he finally said.  
  
Lily blushed, and said a thank you. But she still felt that wasn't what he had originally planned on saying.  
  
"Come on," James said hurriedly, jumping off his broom. "We have some homework to do,"  
  
~*~  
  
~*~ 


	6. Jealous Games?

Disclaimers: I don't own the MAIN CHARACTERS. They belong to JK Rowling...  
  
A//N: If you think this chapter sucks, I can tell you that it does get better. :)  
  
ruhnas: You're soo great!! I'm so honored to be a part of your favorite author's list!  
  
Cat: Haha! If you don't like Janelle now, I can GUARANTEE you you won't like her in the future.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily Evans stepped out of the castle for some fresh air. Lily needed it to clear her thoughts. Such warm thoughts; such troublesome thoughts regarding James Potter. Rachel had been right; as much as Lily had tried to deny it.   
  
Last night had been amazing; more amazing Lily had expected it to be. Lily didn't anticipate to feel so loved and safe in the arms of James, on a single broom-stick ride. Throughout their short friendship, Lily had fallen in love with James. But she had already set the record straight...and the one thing Lily vowed never to do in life, was to go back on her word.  
  
A warm hand touched her shoulder and Lily jumped startled.   
  
"Are you all right?" Brad Williams lended her a soft frown.  
  
Lily breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm fine you just scared me,"  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Brad apologized.  
  
Lily stared at the 18 year old hunk, a member of the Ravenclaw house. Brad was their seeker, and Lily knew very well that James didn't regard any seeker with the same amount of friendliness and respect as he did for a friend. In fact, Lily was confident that Brad was be the next "enemy" on James's list after Severus Snape. But there was history between Brad and Lily. Brad had a crush on Lily in their second year. Deciding to focus completely on her studies, Lily had turned the relationship down.   
  
"It's cold out here...you wanna go inside," Brad offered Lily his arm, and Lily shook her head.  
  
Brad sighed and bit his lip. "Let me help you," Brad said softly.  
  
Lily's gaze reached his eyes and her eyes twinkled curiously.  
  
"Let me help you make the pain go away," Brad said leaning in gently...  
  
~*~  
  
"Brad Williams! Lily, you lucky goose!" Liesl exclaimed as Lily told her and her friends.  
  
"James's is going to be so jealous," Rachel noted.  
  
"What does James Potter have to do with anything?" Felicia asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Nothing," Lily said quickly. "It's just James is a bit protective. You know, like an older brother..."   
  
Lily caught amusement playing like wildfire in Rachel's eyes. Lily sighed and smiled at her friends.   
  
"Hey," Brad took a seat next to Lily and kissed her cheek. Lily blushed and smiled at him warmly.  
  
"Hey, Brad. So, you made your move huh? Wise man..." Liesl said smirking at Anabelle, Matilda, and Faryn, who had joined them.  
  
"Yes, I did. Let's just say, she was worth the wait," Brad said, and Lily blushed again.  
  
~*~  
  
"Oy, James, is that Brad Williams sitting next to Lily?" Sirius asked, Lily's flushed face caught him staring.  
  
"It is, mate!" Sirius exclaimed. James immediately sat up straighter to see where Sirius's line of vision was coming from.  
  
"What is he doing near her?" James threatened getting up.  
  
"James, Brad is allowed to sit next to her," Remus told him, reminding James that Lily wasn't his property.  
  
"No he doesn't. He's from Ravenclaw, and he's a seeker...and Lily doesn't like, guys like him," James said triumphantly. Then he frowned. "Does she?"  
  
"I reckon I should asked Rachel. Or rather Moony should," Sirius said grinning at him.  
  
"I'll ask Rachel for you, James." Remus told him. But James hadn't heard what he'd said; he was staring so intently at Brad, who had just placed a kiss on Lily's cheek.  
  
~*~  
  
"Rachel, hi," Remus said shyly as Rachel picked up her charms book and headed out the door.  
  
"Hi Remus." Rachel responded, smiling.  
  
"Listen, what do you know about Brad Williams and Lily?" Remus asked in a hushed tone.  
  
"Well," Rachel said, following the hushed tone pursuit, "they're dating,"  
  
"But I thought Lily rejected Brad in the second year?"   
  
"She did," Rachel told him, "But now she likes him."  
  
Remus followed Rachel down the cooridor towards Gryffindor Tower.   
  
"You know, I keep telling her that James loves her," Rachel told him.  
  
Remus nodded and kept walking. "He does,"  
  
"But...she keeps denying that she likes him too," Rachel insisted with a loud sigh. "She thinks she's helping him. Dating someone else, so he'd get over her. But she's not helping him, and she's certainly not helping herself. Dividium," Rachel said as she approached the Fat Lady portrait. The common room door swung open.  
  
"Maybe they just need a little push?" Remus suggested, proposing a plan.  
  
Rachel studied him for a minute, then shook her head slowly. "No, they need to figure this out by themselves. If it's fate, they'll figure it out." Rachel told him. Then, saying good-night, she headed up the girl's dormitory stairs.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily opened her dresser and started looking for her favorite necklace. She had a date with Brad tonight and wanted to look her best. The door opened and Rachel walked in with a funny expression on her face.  
  
"You know Lily," Rachel said, plopping herself on her bed. "You have a funny way of showing someone you care about them,"  
  
Although Lily knew what Rachel was talking about, she played dumb. "What are you talking about Rachel?"  
  
"James is in love with you. How many times do I have to tell you?" Rachel seemed agitated and frustrated. "And just when you start to have feelings for him...."  
  
"I don't have feelings for him," Lily firmly lied.  
  
"...you start swooning the Ravenclaw Seeker! And one of James's worst enemies!" Rachel continued, nearly hysterical.  
  
"He's not one of James's worst enemies," Lily declared. "He's just not a friend of James, that's all," Lily said, still searching for the necklace.  
  
"I was talking to Remus," Rachel went on. Lily's ears perked up. Rachel stopped.  
  
"And I'm going to stop now, Lily. It's up to you and James to figure this out. On your own." Rachel said finally. Rachel stood up and picked something off the ground.   
  
"Here's your necklace," she said handing it to Lily, who took it slowly.  
  
As soon as Rachel left the room, Lily told herself, "I checked over there,"  
  
~*~  
  
"Professor Lupin, what ever happened to all these people?" Harry asked suddenly.  
  
"People?" Remus cleared his throat.  
  
"My mother and father's friends. Rachel, Liesl, Faryn..." Harry explained.  
  
"Err, Rachel moved to American a few months after Hogwarts. Liesl, Faryn, and Anabelle are married with families. And Matilda was killed...Deatheaters." Remus finished.  
  
"What about Janelle?" Harry piped up.  
  
Remus looked at Harry. And answered, "Janelle is also dead. She uhh, was a deatheater," Catching Harry's surprised expression, Lupin continued. "You'll learn, Harry, that there was more to Janelle that met the eye. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Lily was getting ready for her date...meanwhile, James decided to have a little pep talk with Brad..."  
  
~*~  
  
"Williams, let's have a chat," James demanded as he shoved Brad into the wall and looked at him sternly.  
  
"Leave Evans alone," James said in a tone that meant business.  
  
"Why? She's my girlfriend, I can't just leave her alone," Brad said smiling. He was obviously enjoying this.  
  
"I told you, leave her alone or face the consequences,"  
  
"You'd better let me go or you'll face the consequences with Lily," Brad said.  
  
"I don't know what you've heard about me and Lily," James said quietly, "but if I'm the one you want to hurt, go on then. But don't, don't hurt her,"  
  
"I won't hurt her. Physically, anyways. Emotionally, I can't count on that..." Brad said whistfully.  
  
"You touch her, and you die," James said shoving Brad back against the wall.  
  
"Now, now Potter. Get a grip. You can have your precious Evans when I'm done with her,"  
  
"And when will that be?" James gritted through his teeth.  
  
"After I have a little fun..." Brad said winking. "If you know what I mean,"  
  
"You don't care one bit for her. I told you already, Williams, if you want to hurt me, then do it. But don't hurt..."  
  
"I don't want to hurt you," Brad told him. James looked at him curiously, wondering what he meant by that.  
  
"Lily rejected me in our second year. I don't think you remember, but I was the laughing stock of the school for a whole week. Handsome, eligible, smart Brad Williams, couldn't get the bookworm, but also prettiest, girl of our year. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? How humilated I was? And Evans..." Brad made a face. "She didn't care. She went back to her studying, and her friends...and to arguing with you," Brads eyes narrowed to meet James's. "Tell me, Potter, when did you fall for Evans?"  
  
James caught himself. "That's none of your business," he said sharply.  
  
"I'm sure it isn't. But since Evans is my girlfriend, your business is entirely my business. Now, if you'll kindly let me go, I have a date to get ready for," Brad used all his power to escape out of James's grasp and whistled as he strolled through the hall leading to Ravenclaw Tower.  
  
~*~  
  
James sighed as he entered the Gryffindor common room and sank into the soft cushions.  
  
"You all right, James?" Janelle appeared in front of him with a huge grin on her face.  
  
"Oh, hi Janelle. I was just, thinking about some things," James said, rubbing his head.  
  
"Aww, poor James." Janelle took a seat beside James and rubbed his head. James looked at her strangely. Janelle was pretty...with dark brown hair that was almost called black. With mysterious gray eyes that made James think of gray skies.  
  
Janelle scooted closer to James when she caught him staring.  
  
"You think I'm pretty, James?" she cooed in his ear.  
  
Lily, James thought to himself, Think of Lily. But then James's recalled his conversation with Brad. Lily didn't give a damn about him; hell, she was on her date with Brad!  
  
"Yes, I think you're very pretty," James said, leaning in for a kiss, which Janelle gladly returned.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: It gets MUCH BETTER! Please R+R!! 


	7. No Advantage

A/N: Disclaimers are in Chapter 1. Some thanks are in order:  
  
~*~  
  
Hpgirl55: Thanks soo much!!  
  
SiriusBlack4Ever: thanks soo much!  
  
Everyone who reviewed: Thanks soo much everyone! I am soo thrilled and HONORED to have you put my story on your Favorite Stories List and Your Favorite Authors list! Thanks soo much!! Enjoy this chapter!!  
  
~*~  
  
The common room door opened once again and this Lily stepped inside, back from her gruesome date.  
  
"You're back," a familiar voice said happily.  
  
Lily rubbed her eyes and saw James sitting on the cushions, patting the seat next to her.  
  
"James, it's late. What are you doing up?" Lily asked, taking a seat.  
  
"I decided to wait up for you," James told her. Janelle had gone up to bed a couple hours prior, but James had other plans.  
  
"How was your evening?" James asked, noticing Lily appeared extremely tired.  
  
"Oh, it was horrible! Brad is such a jerk! Self-centered too." Lily wrinkled her nose, to which James laughed lightly. "All he talked about was him, him, him." Lily said, leaning back into the soft cushions. James watched her, and was secretly glad the date had gone so badly.  
  
"I know what you mean. Well, sort of. All Janelle talks about is me. It's annoying..." James said. Lily's eyes darted.  
  
"Janelle?" Lily asked. James noticed her eyes glowed a different shade of green. Jealousy, perhaps?  
  
"Yea, we uhh...talked, tonight." James said.  
  
"Oh, I see. About what?" Lily asked curiously.  
  
"Nothing, really. Hey uhh...Lily, do you want to maybe, go for a butterbeer next Hogsmeade weekend?" James asked nervously.  
  
Lily's eyes sparkled. "As in, a date?" she asked.  
  
"Yea, a date." James agreed. She was going to reject him, again. James could feel it.  
  
A date, with James? Obviously James wasn't over her; and Lily was sure she wasn't over him either. What harm could a single date do?  
  
"All right," Lily said slowly, making up her mind. James did a double-take.  
  
"Really?" he said happily.  
  
"Yes, really. James, I'm really tired. I'm going to head up to bed," Lily said yawning and wishing James good-night.  
  
"Night," James replied happily, his eyes following her up the dormitory stairs.  
  
~*~  
  
"Janelle!" Faryn shrieked. "Did you hear?"   
  
Janelle took a seat next to Faryn at the Gryffindor table.  
  
"Hear what?" Janelle asked, grabbing a slice of toast.  
  
"About James and Lily..." Faryn said excitedly.  
  
Janelle's heart dropped. What about James and Lily?  
  
"James asked Lily out, and Lily accepted!" Faryn continued. "They make such a cute couple, don't you think?"  
  
"Yea, umm...yea," Janelle was in utter surprise. After the way James's kissed her last night...and then he goes and asks perfect Lily Evans out!  
  
"...of course, James has been after Lily for years. It's about time they got together. I think Lily started..."  
  
"Oh, shut up with it, will you?" Janelle snapped angrily, getting up from her seat and walking furiously out of the Great Hall.  
  
"What's up with her?" Liesl asked.  
  
"I don't know," Faryn answered, completely confused.  
  
~*~  
  
"Lily!" Brad caught up with the red-head as she reached the Great Hall.  
  
"Hi, Brad," Lily said.  
  
"Listen, there's another Hogsmeade trip this weekend. How about it?"  
  
Lily paused and looked at him. "Uhh, Brad...I don't think we should see each other anymore,"  
  
Brad's eyes flashed with rage. "Why, Lily?" he tried to control his temper.  
  
"It's just, not working out," Lily said simply.  
  
"And what is working out? You and Potter?" Brad asked, grabbing her wrists violently and pinning her against the wall.  
  
"Brad!" Lily cried. "Let me go! You're hurting me!"  
  
"But I didn't have my fun yet, Evans. And I ALWAYS get my fun," Brad said viciously, smiling at her. He planted a big kiss on her lips. And as much as Lily struggled, she was couldn't escape the powerful grasps of a strong Quidditch player.  
  
Then, out of nowhere, a camera began snapping pictures. But Lily never saw the face of the photographer, because he or she was hidden behind Brad.  
  
"LET GO!" Lily shouted, thrusting all of her weight and me against Brad. It finally worked, and Lily was released.  
  
"What, Evans? Not happy? Isn't this your fulfillment in life? To play around with two guys? Me, and Potter..." Brad laughed.  
  
"No, you sick bastard." Lily said, raged with tears. She turned on her heel and hurried back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: I know, this wasn't a GREAT chapter...but it gets so much better! I already have the next 4 chapters written, and chapter 10 is really good!! So, stay put! But Reviews are VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!! THANKS!! 


	8. A Heart of Hate

A/N: I am SOO PLEASED!! I am soo thrilled and happy and excited that I've gotten so many reviews!! (27 reviews are a lot to me...haha!) Please enjoy and review!!  
  
BadgerBraveSweety: Thanks!!  
  
Hpgirl55: I know, I hate Brad and Janelle too!! Thanks to everyone's reviews, I find myself more eager to post...haha!   
  
PadfootOldBuddyOldPal: Thanks so much! I love your name! haha! padfoot buddy old pal...hiarious. Umm, actually Janelle became a death eater later...it sure seems like shes been a death eater for a while now, huh?  
  
Little House Girl: Thank you!! I'll be posting the next couple chapters pretty soon...sorry to make you wait!  
  
HPnLOTRrox: Thank you!! i'm so surprised at hohw many people have actually put my story on their Favorite Stories list. I'm soo thrilled and honored! Thanks again!  
  
~*~  
  
"James! James, I found you as soon as I could..." Janelle rushed into the boy's dormitory. Her cheeks were flushed and she was out of breath. She handed three photographs to James, who took them unsure of what they were.  
  
Three pictures; all similar. Brad and Lily, kissing. Brad and Lily, fooling around. Brad and Lily...period.  
  
Sirius took the pictures from James and he and Remus took a look.  
  
"Oh," was all Remus could say.  
  
"When were these taken?" James seemed to have lost his voice.  
  
"This morning. Outside the Great Hall," Janelle said. "I heard about you and Lily, and I thought...that you should know,"  
  
James eyes Janelle warily. "I don't know, Janelle. Lily wouldn't do this. And you have good motive, too. By the way, Janelle, I am sorry about last night,"  
  
"You think I'm doing this out of revenge? You think I jinxed those pictures, so you'd get mad at Lily?" Janelle asked shocked.  
  
"Well, yes," James admitted.  
  
"I agree with James," Sirius raised his hand.  
  
Janelle put her hands on her hips. "Why don't you ask your girlfriend, Potter? Go on, ask her if she and Brad were kissing this morning. Show her the pictures!" Janelle dared him.  
  
"All right," James said standing up from his bed. Sirius and Remus glanced nervously at each other. "All right, I will,"  
  
~*~  
  
"Lily, I would like a word with you," James ordered.  
  
"James, I'm not some servant of yours. You can't just order me..."  
  
James didn't want her to finish; he just wanted the truth. He slapped the three photographs on the table and Lily peered into them. The photographs; the photographer. Lily suddenly felt very sick.  
  
"Where did you get these?" Lily asked hoarsley.  
  
"You mean, they're real? They're not jinxed?" James asked angrily.  
  
"They're...they are real. But James," Lily said quickly.  
  
"You cheated on me! You..."  
  
Lily's eyes turned a blaze green. "I never cheated on you! We were never going out in the first place!"  
  
"Then what do you call last night?"  
  
"I called last night a proposal for a date. I thought you understood that!"  
  
"Couples go on dates! That's what we were, a couple!" James yelled. It was outrageous, yet both sides have a point.  
  
"Couple do go on dates! But we hadn't gone on one yet!" Lily yelled. Suddenly, there was a sore pit in her stomach. The entire Gryffindor common room was watching them silently. Their Head Boy arguing with the Head Girl. About an issue that didn't even include Hogwarts.  
  
"You don't understand, James. Please, just...hear me out," Lily wanted him to listen.   
  
"No, I don't want to hear your side of it. I know what I see, and right now, the photographs are speaking loud and clear. Just, just leave me alone," James said miserably as he ran up the dormitory stairs.  
  
Lily shot Sirius, Remus, and Peter pleading looks.   
  
"How could you do this to him, Evans?" Sirius asked coldly, shaking his head. Peter gave her a similar glare. Remus followed Sirius and Peter up the stairs, giving her an apologetic look. Lily sighed as the girls crowded around her.  
  
"What's your side of it, Lily?" Rachel asked softly.  
  
~*~  
  
Lily was on her way to charms class when Janelle popped her head out from a classroom and motioned for Lily to come inside.  
  
"What's up, Janelle?" Lily asked, walking into the empty classroom.  
  
With a swift of her wand, Janelle buddled Lily up in ropes and placed her in a chair, then locking the doors.  
  
"What are you doing?" Lily yelled.  
  
"For once, things are finally going my way," Janelle said smiling.  
  
~*~  
  
"Today, we will learm about the Rossimy charm. A ridiculously difficult spell, I must say..." Professor Flitwick said.  
  
"Where's Lily?" Remus asked Sirius, noticing the empty seat in the front.  
  
"Don't know, don't care," Sirius said, taking out a quill to copy the notes.  
  
"James, where's Lily?" Remus whispered. James's head shot up. Sure enough, Lily wasn't in her usual seat. In fact, Lily wasn't even in the classroom.  
  
"I really shouldn't care..." James said uneasily, pretending that Lily's whereabouts meant nothing to him.  
  
"You should care, Potter," Faryn, who happened to be sitting in front of James, said crisply. "Don't go blaming it on Lily. She didn't do anything...you ruined your entire relationship with Lily,"  
  
"Oh really? And how did I do that?" James asked angrily as the images of Lily and Brad kissing flooded his brain, "did I kiss some other girl? No, I didn't,"  
  
"You didn't even hear Lily out. You didn't hear her side," Matilda said.  
  
"He didn't have to. The pictures explained themselves," Sirius said haughtingly.  
  
Faryn glanced nervously and Matilda. They were communicating, but without words.  
  
"You're going to be sorry you said that Sirius. And one day, James, you will be sorry for not hearing her out," Faryn said finally before returning to her notes.  
  
"What do you 'spect she meant by that?" Remus asked.  
  
"She's probably BLUFFING," Sirius said loudly so Faryn could hear him, "so that you would apologize to Lily,"  
  
James couldn't concentrate. Faryn was right; he hadn't listened to Lily's side. But the pictures represented themselves, didn't they? Was Faryn right? Would he regret it one day?  
  
"Faryn," James hissed. Faryn was obviously trying to ignore James and continued to whisper to Matilda. "Matilda," James hissed. The silent treatment.  
  
James finally poked Faryn. She turned, clearly upset and annoyed, and mouthed a 'what?'  
  
"What is Lily's side of the story?" James asked her. Faryn looked at Matilda again, and their silent communication began.  
  
"Oh, the hell with you two! Talk to us!" Sirius cried, causing the entire class, including Professor Flitwick to stare at him. "Ahem," Sirius said softly. Then he grinned.  
  
"Brad uhh, took advantage of her," Matilda said.  
  
"Took advantage?" James asked. He didn't like the sound of it and the direction it was headed.  
  
"Lily broke it off with him...and he got, violent. Pinned her against the wall...and he started kissing her," Faryn told them.  
  
"Well, Faryn, may I remind you that Lily kissed him back. She could've pushed him away..." Sirius said knowingly.  
  
But that wasn't right. And James knew it. Lily was rather petite, even for a seventeen year old. 5'4" Lily could have never been able to push away a 6" strong and musclar Quidditch player. It made sense now. Then the photographer came around the corner and snapped the pictures and...  
  
"...No, she couldn't have. She didn't have the strength to push him away. He was too big and heavy," James said. Faryn and Matilda gave James and Sirius looks that made them regret. (And sweet smiles at Remus).  
  
"Where is Lily?" James asked, finally realizing that Lily still hadn't shown up to class. Faryn gave a confused look and peered to the front row. Then to the second, third, and finally the last row.  
  
"I don't know. She wouldn't miss charms," Faryn said, slightly panicked. Faryn whispered something to Felicia and Anabelle, who was sitting next to her.  
  
All four girls turned their heads and started naming the possibilites of where Lily was.  
  
"She's sick," Matilda suggested.  
  
"She didn't complete the homework," Felicia said undoubtedly. ("Do you KNOW Lily Evans?" Sirius asked completely astounded)  
  
"She fell asleep?" Anabelle suggested.  
  
"Is there something interesting you all wold like to share with us?" Professor Flitwick asked the group, whose whispers had soon turned into loud voices.u  
  
"Professor, it has just occured to us that Ms. Evans is not here," James spoke up.  
  
Professor Flitwick glanced momentarily at his front row, and his eyes darted back to James.  
  
"Do you believe she is in trouble, Mr. Potter?"  
  
"I believe something is up...charms is her favorite class. And Evans wouldn't miss a class, anyways, especially her favorite one," James said.  
  
"All right, Mr. Potter. You may look for her. But be sure to get the Rossimy notes from..." Professor Flitwick told him.  
  
~*~  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Lily asked as she struggled against the ropes.  
  
"I'm not doing this for me....I'm doing this for James," Janelle said wickedly.  
  
"James asked you to..." Lily asked. She had never felt so much hate towards James Potter. First he didn't believe her about the photographs, and now he wants to kill her.  
  
"Course he did. He said he would kill you personally, but he had better things to do than waste his time on you," Janelle narrowed her eyes.  
  
Lily's eyes filled up with the tears that she had bottled up.   
  
"Go on and cry, Evans. You're dead anyways," Janelle said, smiling. With her wand, Janelle lifted the chair which Lly was sitting on. The scene was too familiar. Lily knew James must've put Janelle up to this; afterall, he had lifted her and dropped her not too long ago, too. Lily remembered.  
  
Before Lily could think any more, Janelle dropped the chair violently. Lily felt pain all around...she had landed body first. The weight of the chair on top of her caused even more pain.  
  
"Come on, Evans. Where's your strength? You're Head Girl after all," Janelle asked, enjoying herself. "Better strengthen up, you've got a long day ahead of you,"  
  
~*~  
  
James was walking, poking his head into every classroom, hoping to find Lily. He had already searched Gryffindor Tower and her dormitory, but didn't find Lily.  
  
Thud.  
  
James's ears picked up. He heard a big thud. Poking his head into McGonagall's classroom, he glanced around the classroom.  
  
"Potter! What are you doing out of class?" McGonagall said sharply.   
  
James heard another thud. It was louder and closer than the first one. James followed the repetition of thuds, leaving McGonagall clueless.  
  
"James Potter! Get back her and explain to me..." McGongall warned.  
  
But James wasn't listening, all he could hear were the thuds. His pace quickened, and he was sure she had found Lily. Opening the classroom door, he gasped at what he saw.  
  
"James!" Janelle asked startled.  
  
A body was on the floor; she was tied to ropes, a chair slung over her limp body. James knew at once who it was. He rushed to her side.   
  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU PLAYING?" James hollered at Janelle.  
  
"I did this for you, James! I did this for you! You and me! I did this..." Janelle knew she had made James mad.  
  
"I DON'T WANT THIS! I DON'T WANT THIS!" James yelled. He felt sick all over.   
  
"Good heavens!" McGonagall gasped as she approached the students. Janelle, with her wand in her hand, James on the floor trying to remove the chair off of Lily, and Lily, who had been through more torture than she could handle.  
  
"Lily?" James asked her softly. He took her into his arms.   
  
She is so weak, James thought to himself.   
  
Her green eyes not longer glowed; her face was pale, and her hair was plain red. "Lily, can you hear me? Say something..." James pleaded. Lily's eyes blinked.  
  
McGonagall magicked a stretcher.   
  
"I hate you. I hate you with all my heart," Lily whispered finally, her tears streaming rapidly down her face. James watched as the stretcher lifted Lily and headed out of the door.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Yes, yes, I know this chapter was a bit...corny. I hope you liked it though!! Please Review!! Thanks!! 


	9. Welcome Back to Square One

A/N: Disclaimers are in part 1. Ahh! I'm soo pleased at ALL the reviews I've been getting!! I'm sorry if I didn't mention your name in my previous chapters...here goes:  
  
~*~  
  
lightsakura14: i'm glad you liked chapter 8! To be honest, I didn't like it very much...but i'm glad you did! Thanks soo much for adding me to your lists! It means a lot to me!  
  
SiriusBlack4Ever: I love you Ali, cause you always write so much! haha! Yes, i think we ALL hate Bellatrix Lestrange! haha!! Thanks for reviewing!! Hope ya like this chapter!!  
  
ruhnas: Haha! It's all right, I hope you had a good vacation!! Yea, this whole Janelle thing is a freaky...but, she turned out to be a deatheater, so...haha.  
  
HPnLOTRrox: Ooh, sorry I left it RIGHT THERE!! This chapter won't really leave you HANGING for anything...but chapter 10 will! haha, that's my proudest chapter...chapter 10. thanks for reviewing!!  
  
Hpgirl55: Yea! Janelle is very psychotic!! No prob, thanks for reviewing!!  
  
Kireina: Haha! Yea, join the We-Hate-Janelle club...don't worry, chapter 10 (I'm sure I've said this at least a million times already) is a BIG James and Lily scene...:)  
  
PadfootOldBuddyOldPal: Thank you!! Actually, I'm NOT british..haha! I've been to london though...I'm American (God Bless the USA). I'm pleased though that I write somewhat British. I'm trying to read my work, and see how I get the British in...hmm...i dunno. Maybe I do...it's from reading JK Rowling, I think. And I try to make it sound British anyways, since you know, Harry Potter is set in Europe (Particularly London...since we don't know where Hogwarts is). Thanks for reviewing!!  
  
Once again, I'm sorry if I didn't mention you...these were the reviews I received for chapter 8. If I missed you, let me know!! Thanks!! Review please!! And enjoy!!  
  
~*~  
  
Lily's condition was stable; but she wouldn't be able to attend classes for another 2 days. Madam Pomfrey had denied all students of visiting Ms. Evans with the exception of her 6 closest friends, whom Lily had wanted to see.   
  
Janelle had been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore had been absolutely furious; and to make Dumbledore mad, you had to have done something extremely uncivil and horrible. It also didn't hurt that Lily Evans was Head Girl plus one of Dumbledore's favorite students.  
  
Meanwhile, rumors and gossip spread like wildfire around the campus, as Lily was very respected, loved, and Head Girl. Thousands of gifts were showered by Lily's hospital wing bed. James waited anxiously for one of Lily's friends to return from their visit with Lily. As soon as Liesl appeared from seeing Lily, James attacked her.  
  
"Geroff, James! What's the matter with you?" Liesl asked, brushing the dust off her robes.  
  
"How's Lily?" James asked anxiously.  
  
"She's fine. She's fine, James. Trust me...she's fine." Liesl repeated.  
  
"So she's ok?" James asked.  
  
Liesl bit her lip. "She's fine, James. But I can't say the same for you,"  
  
James bunched up his eyebrows in confusion. "Come again?"  
  
"She uhh, really hates you James," Liesl said sweetly. But it was no sweet matter.  
  
James muttered an "oh" and stared at her. "Well, if she hates me, then she hates me. Nothing I can do about it, right?" James tried to smile. "Right," James muttered.  
  
James stepped out of Liesl's vision and sat down on the sofa. Liesl followed him and said sympathetically, "James, there's still hope,"  
  
"What hope is that?" James scoffed. "By some miracle..."  
  
Liesl had to admit; there was no hope left for James. The way Lily rattled on about how much she hated him. Liesl sighed.  
  
"Did she get all the gifts I sent her?" James asked suddenly.  
  
"Err...actually, she did. She umm, requests that you take them back. If you don't, she'll throw them away,"  
  
"Fine. I'll umm...I'll take them back when she gets back," James said glumly.  
  
~*~  
  
"Lily looks great, doesn't she? She's been in a really good mood all morning," Peter said, as the Marauders watched her laugh and smile in potions. ("She's bugging me. Who the hell actually smiles, or laughs, in potions?" Sirius said moodily)  
  
"She seems better," James said stiffly.  
  
"You haven't talked to her yet, James?" Remus asked quietly.  
  
"She doesn't want to talk to me," James said shortly.  
  
"Have you even tried to talk to her?" Remus asked.  
  
"She doesn't want to talk to me," James repeated.  
  
"She's watching you, James," Sirius hinted. James moved his eyes slowly, and sure enough, Lily's green eyes were watching him.  
  
"This is your chance, buddy," Sirius said. "Go talk to her!"  
  
Maybe Lily didn't hate him. Maybe her friends had convinced her that it wasn't all his fault. Maybe, maybe a miracle happened...and she just forgot about the whole thing. James approached Lily's cauldron, which she was sharing with Felicia, and cleared his throat.  
  
"Hi, Lily," James said.  
  
"May I help you, Potter?" Lily's voice was cold. James felt an inch tall.  
  
"Umm, actually, yes. I was wondering how you were feeling,"  
  
"I don't think that's any of your business, do you?" Lily asked, stirring the cauldron. Felicia gave James an apologetic look.  
  
"Err, no it's not. Sorry to have bothered you," James apologized, turning his back to Lily and Felicia.  
  
"When are you going to take your gifts back?" Lily asked loudly, stealing the attention of a couple students.  
  
James turned around and replied, "Anytime you want, dear," James said sarcastically.  
  
Felicia groaned; James and Lily had returned to their defensive sides, before this whole thing started. Before they truly fell in love.  
  
"All right, darling," Lily gritted through her teeth, "Meet me in the Common Room tonight. 9' o clock sharp,"  
  
"I'll be there," James promised as he turned and headed to his cauldron.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: I know it's short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways! ALthough Chapter 10 is already written and proof-read, I'm not going to release it right away. Mainly because I've been having so much writer's block with the chapters after it. So, I ask for your patience...BUT, if too many reviews (there can never be too many reviews) come in, I might post it. If I do, please beware that it might be a while until Chapter 11 is released. Thanks, and please review!! 


	10. At Last AKA Truth Be Told

A/N: I love you guys! And I love your reviews!! So, here's the next chapter: but beware, Chapter 11 might not be out for a while. Thanks and PLEASE review!!  
  
Little House Girl: Haha!! Here's chapter 10 at your request! Enjoy!  
  
:) : Thank you! I'm glad you like the story!!  
  
ruhnas: Yea, I'm sorry it's dragging. I needed a short chapter to prepare you guys for the long chapter...haha.  
  
PadfootOldBuddyOldPal: Haha! I'm soo pleased you still are convinced I'm british!! Shameless bribery...:) :) Double smilies!! Haha, enjoy and review!!  
  
Hpgirl55: Here you go, Katie! Please enjoy and review!!  
  
Templa Otmena: Thank you! Yes, there will be more chapters to go...haha. hopefully...i'm having a REALLY bad case of writer's block though..  
  
lightsakura14: You're great!! Thanks and enjoy!  
  
HPnLOTRrox: Haha, YES, janelle is OUT! haha! Thanks and enjoy!  
  
Sorry if I didn't get your thank you on here...I'll be sure to include it in Chapter 9!!  
  
~*~  
  
James took a seat and glanced nervously at his watch. It was 9:06, already. Where was she?  
  
Suddenly, Lily came down the girl's dormitory stairs, carrying a huge box of extravagantly wrapped presents James recognized as his.  
  
"I believe you'll find every last one of your gifts in there," Lily said professionally.  
  
"I trust you, Evans," James nodded.  
  
"Potter, I think we should come to an agreement. We are not friends, but neither enemies."  
  
"Not friends? Meaning...meaning we don't, talk to each other?" James clarified.  
  
"Exactly. The only time we will be specified to talk will be during our professional student meetings. That means Prefects meetings, meetings with Dumbledore..."  
  
"I know what that means," James snapped. Lily whipped out a thick pad of paper.  
  
"Good. Now all you have you do is sign the contract," Lily said, handing James a pen.  
  
"You made a contract? Do you hate me this much?" James asked astounded.  
  
Lily shrugged and motioned for him to dot the t's and cross the i's. James took the pen and opened the cap. He read the first line, but found he couldn't concentrate.  
  
"Wait, wait" James held up his arms.  
  
"Can't read fast enough, Potter?" Lily asked, putting her hands on her hips. Her green eyes were piercing a hole into James's hazel ones.  
  
James stood up suddenly and walked to Lily. Lily, who felt his close presence, remained still and didn't move. Leaning in, James's lips met Lily's. A second passed, then another. The kiss was gentle, and soon, it turned passionate. 3 seconds turned to a minute, before Lily realized what she was doing. She pushed James away from her, and he fell back onto the couch.  
  
James touched his lip, where a few seconds ago it had company.   
  
"Look me in the eye, Lily, and tell me that meant nothing to you," James whispered.   
  
Lily realized, with great astonishment, that he was begging. He was begging her to tell him it meant something to her. Truth was, it did. It meant a great deal...  
  
But still, Lily avoided his eyes. And though she would never admit it to James, all she could think about was the incredible kiss that had taken place a few seconds before. "I don't need to look you in the eye to tell you that it meant nothing," Lily hissed, emphasizing the last word. "Now, please...sign the contract,"  
  
"I don't want to sign the contract," James said. He wasn't mad at her, as cold as his voice had sounded. "I want to be able to talk to you whenever I feel like it. I don't want some stupid contract..."  
  
"It's not stupid!" Lily fumed. James sighed and Lily's eyes softened at once.  
  
"All right, Lily. Just answer me one question, Lily. One question...and I'll sign the contract," James said quietly, instantly regretting it.  
  
"What question?" Lily asked.  
  
"I know you're mad at me. And I don't blame you. But I want to set the record straight; Janelle did that to you, not me. I had no clue what she was up to, and trust me, if I had known her intentions, I would've stopped her immediately."  
  
"That's not a question," Lily told him impatiently. She wanted to get out of here. She didn't want to see James Potter's face ever again.  
  
"Let me finish, all right?" James didn't give her a chance to respond though. "And I am truly, truly sorry that I didn't believe you about the photographs. I should've let you give your side of the story, and I should've trusted you more. And I also should've know that you would never do anything to hurt me. I know that now," James said. A small smile appeared on his lips.  
  
"What's your question, Potter?" Lily asked, clearly annoyed.  
  
James took in a deep breath. "Why are you so afraid of, well, us? Why can't it be me that kisses you? Why can't I be the last person you see before you go to sleep? Why can't I be the first person you see in the morning? Why can I not spend the rest of my life, with you?"  
  
"I don't understand," Lily said, half confused. James looked at her and smiled.  
  
"Of course you don't, my love,"  
  
"Don't call me your love," Lily commanded him.  
  
"Of course, darling," James continued.  
  
"Don't call me..."  
  
"What I mean," James said loudly, his voice topping hers, "is that..." James chose his words carefully. "Remember at your parent's house? Under the gazebo? You told me you just wanted to be friends, and that we could be nothing more. The following weeks, I tried so hard to get over you. But you were simply irresistible to my tastes. So, Lily, I want to know...why can't we be more than friends? Why can't we be lovers?"  
  
Lily cringed at the word 'lovers'. And she didn't answer either; all she wanted was for James to stare anywhere else but at her.  
  
James, who caught Lily's cringe, laughed softly. Hearing no response from Lily, James asked, "Have you chosen not to answer that?"   
  
"I never said I would answer the question," Lily defended herself.  
  
"You don't have to." James told her. "You know, a part of me wants to give up. I've been chasing you for 2 years now...and your still not mine," James continued.  
  
"I'm not just property you can buy, Potter," Lily said harshly.  
  
"...and the other part tells me that you're possibly the best thing that has happened to me, and maybe you like playing hard to get?" James guessed. Lily avoided his eyes once again; he had discovered her secret.  
  
"Either way...I have no clue how you're feeling right now. And, for once, I will listen to you. I'll listen to your demands...and what you want,"  
  
Lily looked at James, who looked back at her expectantly.   
  
"What do you want, James? What do I have to do to make you...to make you stop," Lily asked quietly.  
  
"What do you want from me?" James pleaded. "What do you want from me, to make you fall in love..."  
  
"You can't force me to love you, James!" Lily cried. Instead of retorting a comeback, James remained silent and motioned for her to continue.  
  
"You can't force me to love you," Lily repeated softer, "because I already do. I love how you never gave up on me, no matter how many times I tried to make you hate me. I love how you are always there for me, and how special you make me feel. And most of all, I love how...I love how you kept pursuing me. I love you so much James, but I'm so scared. Of loving you,"  
  
James took Lily's hand gently and rubbed it. "Why?"  
  
Lily's eyes were brimming with tears. For a moment, Lily thought he saw water in James's eyes; but they didn't flow down his cheeks.  
  
"Because," Lily said speaking up. "I'm afraid, that one day...you'll be here, and the next day, you won't. I'm afraid that you'll hurt me. But most of all, I'm afraid...that I could fall in love with you forever..." The tears were pouring now, and all James's wanted to do was to make them go away.  
  
"What's wrong with falling in love with me forever?" James asked.  
  
"Nothing!" Lily shouted. "But...I may be in love with you forever, and you may fall out of love with me" Lily said sadly.  
  
"Ahh, Lily," James chuckled lightly.  
  
"It's no laughing matter, James!" Lily snapped.  
  
"I'm sorry, my sweet. It's just, I could never fall out of love with you. No one compares...and each day, I find something more to love about you. I could never, ever fall out of love with you...you'd only make me love you more," James told her. Lily started to feel relieved and cried harder. She looked at James, and realized he was crying too. Not tears of sadness, but happy tears.  
  
So this was what it was about...being hurt. Lily was afraid James would hurt her, and James had been afraid Lily had hurt him when he saw the photographs.  
  
"But, James, I want some time. I don't want a relationship right now. And I don't want to get married right out of school..." Lily said, sniffing. James wondered why she brought up the subject of marriage all of the sudden. "I want to study...I want to teach, travel, everything humanly possible...before I settle down." Lily pleaded.  
  
"Lily, I didn't ask you to marry me," James reminded her gently, his eyes glowing. Lily's eyes met his.  
  
"I know, but...but I have a feeling you might someday," Lily said, her eyes shining. Needless to say, James couldn't help but feel pleased.  
  
"Lily, I respect you. And I love you," James said softly. "And if you want to study, and teach, and travel...then there's no way I would stop you. And if it's time you need..." James took a breath. "Then, I'll wait."  
  
Lily couldn't believe her ears. James respected her. James respected her wishes. And most of all, James would wait for her. And Lily knew, in her heart, that James would wait an eternity for her. He'd wait forever.  
  
"Thank you," Lily whispered, leaning her head into his chest as they embraced in a tight hug.   
  
"Don't thank me, Lily," James murmured into her soft, red hair, "Just love me,"  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!! Please, please review!!! 


	11. Author's Notes

Authors Notes:  
  
Hi everyone!!! No, sorry, this isn't the 11th Chapter of Deeper Than Love.   
  
I have an idea for it...but my writing isn't...being responsive. So, I'm thinking that maybe I should throw the whole idea out!  
  
I am asking for help: Send in ideas, lines, quotes...anything you'd like to see in the next chapter. If you want to leave it up to me, then my new chapter should be up in a bit.   
  
You can leave a your idea (quote) AND your e-mail address in a review, or e-mail me at AmicableDi07@aol.com  
  
Thanks!!  
  
~ TV-Fan-06 


	12. A Date to the Ball

A/N: Please enjoy and review! More author's notes at the bottom!  
  
~*~  
  
"My father was a hopeless romantic, wasn't he?" Harry guessed. A warm feeling bubbled inside of him. The story had made his heart warm, his conscience content. Lily did indeed love James.  
  
"When it came to Lily," Remus said smiling fondly, "He most definitely was a hopeless romantic." Lupin smiled again, before realizing that Harry was watching him.  
  
"It was a couple days before Valentine's Day and even though your parent's confessed their love for each other, they weren't officially together,"  
  
"And my dad respected that..." Harry piped in.   
  
"Right. So, like I was saying...it was a couple days before Valentines Day..."  
  
~*~  
  
James woke up and rubbed his eyes warily. All of the previous night's events came rushing back to him. Glancing momentarily at his calendar, James noticed that Valentine's Day was just a couple days away. James sat up on his bed and observed that his roommates beds were unoccupied. A note lay on the floor. James grabbed it and read:  
  
Morning Prongs!   
  
Moony, Wormtail, and I left extra early for breakfast in hopes of scouting us some dates for the Valentine's Day Ball. I'm sure it'll be manageable...we won't grab one for you, since we figured that you're already taken. 3 winks here. See you at breakfast mate!  
  
3 Marauders  
  
James sighed and crumpled up the letter. Getting up, he prepared for a long day.  
  
~*~  
  
In the Great Hall, Lily was already settled with her friends at breakfast. She was extremely tired. Her mind wandered to the events of last night...  
  
After hugging for the next hour or so, James and Lily had decided to head up to their respective beds without another word. But Lily was sure she had made it very clear that she had not wanted a relationship. Not yet.  
  
"What happened last night, Lily?" Matilda asked as she took her regular seat.  
  
"Nothing," said Lily, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.  
  
"Are you and James together?" Faryn asked.  
  
Lily arched her eyebrow. "Rachel err, let it slip..." Faryn said. Lily shot Rachel one of her famous glares, and Rachel smiled innocently at her.  
  
"No. Not exactly," Lily replied.  
  
"But you're in love with him," Rachel confirmed.  
  
"Yes," Lily said simply.  
  
"And he's in love with you," Liesl asked.  
  
"Suppose so," Lily said. She stared at her crowd of friends, who were all expecting her to elaborate.  
  
"Here he comes..." Anabelle whispered quietly to the group.  
  
James felt 6 pairs of eyes on him as he passed the Gryffindor table. Turning, he noticed Lily's group of friends all staring at him. With the exception of Lily, who was focused intently on her breakfast.  
  
"Morning, ladies," James said politely. "Good morning, Lily,"  
  
"Morning, James," Lily's head popped up and she smiled shyly.   
  
"See you in class," James nodded heading off to find his own friends.  
  
~*~  
  
"Lily, I was wondering if I could have a word?" Snape caught Lily walked down the cooridor with her friends.  
  
The girls gave curious looks and Lily shooed them away.  
  
"Yes, Severus?" Lily asked kindly finally turning to face him.  
  
"The Valentine's Day Ball." said Snape, cutting to the chase. "Do you have a date?"  
  
Snape gulped and felt the sweat trickling down his face. Lily blushed slightly. She didn't smile, but she didn't frown either. She was rather flattered; Lily knew Snape was showing courage. A Slytherin like himself, asking a Gryffindor.   
  
Yet, at the same time...she didn't know how to answer the question. She did love James, yes...but James hadn't asked her to the Valentine's Day Ball. And Severus HAD in fact asked first...  
  
"Actually, I don't have a date," Lily said, her eyes finally meeting his. Snape's eyes brightened.  
  
"Then, maybe you'd like to be mine?" he said with all the sincerity and kindness he could muster.  
  
"Of course, Severus." Lily said. Snape smiled and glanced at his watch suddenly.  
  
"I'm late for class. I'll see you later?" he asked. Lily nodded and watched him run off. It soon dawned on her that she too was late to class.  
  
~*~  
  
"Copy these notes down quickly!" Professor Binns yawned. The door squeaked open and Lily tip-toed in quietly, trying to be discreet.  
  
"Nice of you to join us, Miss Evans." Professor Binns said. James raised his head. He was curious why Lily was late, and motioned to her that there was an empty seat next to him. Lily nodded.  
  
"Sorry, Professor, I was held up by a student," Lily said, taking her seat next to James, receiving a couple winks from various students in the classroom.  
  
"Of course. Copy the notes above," Professor Binns instructed and he continued on with his lecture.  
  
"You all right? You seem flustered," James whispered, as he finished the last word and set down his quill.  
  
"I'm fine, James." Lily whispered back, as she began copying.  
  
"How are you? After last night, I mean..." James asked her.  
  
"I'm fine. A bit tired. And you?" Lily asked.  
  
"Great," James said cheerfully. "My friends are dying to know what happened last night,"  
  
"Knowing Sirius, he would die to know what happened last night," Lily commented dryly.  
  
James laughed. "I didn't tell them though. It's our business,"   
  
"I agree. And I didn't tell my friends either....but they do suspect something," Lily said, glancing at her friends. "They're nosy, the bunch of them. But it's just because they care..."  
  
"Listen, Lily." James said brusquely, as he set down his quill. "I know you wanted more time and everything...but I was wondering, will you be my date to the Valentine's Day Ball?" James asked hopefully.  
  
Lily felt a headache coming on. When James felt the hesitation in Lily's answer, he asked, "Was that too...fast? I'm sorry," James mumbled.  
  
"No, no. It was, just fine," Lily said, heaving in a deep breath. She'd have to tell him sooner or later...and if she didn't, the rest of the school would.  
  
"James, listen," Lily began.   
  
"...I didn't mean to rush you. I was just wondering...you know. I mean, I still respect..." James blabbered on.  
  
"James," Lily said sharply. He finally turned to look at her and shut up. "I already have a date,"  
  
James blinked. And blinked. And blinked. "What?" he finally whispered. Lily looked at him and said, "I already have a date."  
  
"What?" James asked again.  
  
"I already have a date," Lily said slowly. James blinked again.  
  
"I'm sorry. Repeat that again," James said. His ears weren't working properly; had he just heard that Lily already had a date?  
  
"I already have a date," Lily mumbled.   
  
"Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. If you had been listening to my lecture for the past hour, you would know that not only are Wemmings found only in Switzerland, but that the class has ended." Professor Binns said harshly.   
  
Lily looked around the classroom; sure enough, it was empty. She could hear her friend's voices echoing from the hallway outside. They were waiting for her. And a laugh; Sirius Black's hearty laugh.  
  
"James?" Lily focused on James's again. She lifted his chin gently with a finger and searched his hazel eyes.   
  
"Go," James said tiredly. He turned to look at the notes he had copied down. Away from Lily.  
  
"James?" Lily repeated, just as worried.  
  
"Just go," James said louder, not giving a care in the world whether he had sounded cold or rude.   
  
Lily stood up and collected her belongings, watching James carefully. She could already feel the tips of her teardrops. Without another word to James, whose eyes were still on his notes, Lily left the classroom.  
  
~*~  
  
"Allison Becker," Sirius told James. "Remus is going with Rachel, you know, Lily's friend, and Peter, uhh..." Sirius stopped before bursting into laughter.  
  
"It's not funny, Padfoot!" Peter said angrily, his arms crossed. James's eyes followed curiously. "I couldn't get a date," Peter said simply.  
  
Sirius looked over at James expectantly. Instead of bursting out with laughter, James remained quiet. His head hung low and watched every step of his feet.  
  
"So, Prongs, whose your date?" Sirius asked, noticing the weary mood his friend was in.  
  
"I don't know yet," James said icily. He didn't want to talk about the Valentine's Day Ball. Not now. Now when he was in this sort of a mood.  
  
"You all right?" Remus asked.   
  
"No," James said gruffly as they entered the Great Hall for lunch.  
  
James didn't know what Lily wanted anymore; he had tried to do everything to please her. And he thought had succeeded; just last night she was telling him she loved him. And then she goes ahead and agrees to be Snape's date.   
  
James didn't know whether to feel sad, or hatred towards her.  
  
"We'll find ya a date, Prongs. Don't worry about it, mate" Sirius said as he winked at a group of girls at the end of the Ravenclaw table.  
  
"How about Lily?" Remus asked. He was watching her at the other end.  
  
"She's going with Snape," James grumbled grumpily.  
  
Sirius nearly choked. "What?" he yelped. "No way. Our dear own little flower, is going with dirty, sleasy, oil-haired, Snape?" Sirius's mouth dropped.  
  
"Well, she is," James told him with all seriousness.  
  
"Nah, she's not," Sirius decided.   
  
"Trust me, she is," James muttered as he stole another glimpse at Hogwart's Head Girl.  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Wow, it's been a while!! Thank you for ALL your suggestions!! Sorry, I'm in a rush and I leave for Las Vegas TOMORROW, and I still have to pack!! So I decided to post a chapter before I leave...I have the next 4 chapters all layed out, so, hopefully it'll work out well. I know this chapter was a bit corny, fluffy, and just plain stupid. But hopefully it gets better! Thanks!! And please review!! 


	13. Not That Special to Me

~*~  
  
A/N: Hi everyone!! I'm writing this chapter in a different style. PLEASE, PLEASE let me know if you prefer this to my old style. Now, some THANK YOUS!!  
  
Templa Otmena: Omg!! You are soo smart!! I'll leave it here...you'll see in the future why I said you're brillantly smart. Thank you!!  
  
Luckyloo16: You're soo sweet!! Thank you!!  
  
Little House Girl: Haha, don't worry, no kissing scenes between Snape and Lily. I promise...thank you!!  
  
Hpgirl55: Thanks Katie!!  
  
xxthunderxx: Oh cool, a new reviewed!! thank you very much!! I did have a great time in vegas!!  
  
ruhnas: Thank you!! Haha, your last comment was soo hilarious...  
  
:) : thanks soo much!! I was thinking that I might as well cut it short and get them together...but then again, where's the drama?   
  
Lara1786: I'm glad you were just joking!! Hehe...yup, James is such a sweetheart. I think everyone's just a bit frustrated with Lily...haha. thanks!!  
  
Sirius Black Is My Sexy: Jaime-bear? Definitely haven't heard that one before...it's creative!! Ooh, I forgot to THANK YOU for your wonderful suggestion!! The future of this story was SORT OF based on it...hehe. No more info! By the way, are you ever going to update that Lucius and Narcissa story?? I have you on my author alert...but it's not alerting me!! Haha, update that soon!!  
  
HPnLOTRrox: Haha!! Don't worry, I didn't gamble one bit...seeing that I'm under 18. :) :) But it was very tempting!!  
  
lightsakura14: Hehe!! Thank you!! Don't you love cliffhangers though...they're soo...cliffy...lol  
  
ThiMonkey : Thank you!! Another new reviewer...!!! yay!!  
  
Disclaimers: Same as always!! I own none of the MAIN characters...they are owned by JK Rowling...  
  
"Not That Special to Me"  
  
~*~  
  
Lily stepped inside the Gryffindor Common Room and found the Marauders seated over the four comfy cushions near the fire.  
  
Approaching them carefully, Lily saw that James was sulked in his chair, watching his friends game of Exploding Snap.  
  
"Lily-kins!" Sirius sang out. "Sit down!" Sirius patted his knee.  
  
"Evening Sirius. Remus. Peter." Lily said as she looked at each person. "James,"  
  
Sirius patted his knees again. "That's all right," Lily told him.  
  
"Sit down," Sirius said in a stern tone. "We must have a talk,"  
  
"I'll stand, thank you. What must we have a talk about," Lily inquired.  
  
"Well," Sirius began. "There's a rumor going around that you are Snape's date to the   
  
Valentine's Day Ball,"  
  
Lily eyed James warily, but he wasn't looking at her. He was still watching the discarded Exploding Snap game.  
  
"He did ask me to Ball," Lily started slowly, "And I did accept,"  
  
"WHAT?" Sirius yelled jumping to his feet. The entire common room was watching him now. "WHY?"  
  
"Calm down, Sirius," Remus said soothingly, noticing the many faces that were watching them. "I'm sure Lily has her reasons. Personally, I think..."  
  
"I don't give a damn what you think!" Sirius snapped angrily. "Lily..." he whined. "How could you do this do us? He's dirty, and pathetic...and sleasy, and has greasy-hair!"  
  
"My, my aren't we shallow?" Lily asked in a mocked tone. "He's sweet, and nice,"  
  
"Nice?" Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Snape is not nice, Lily!"  
  
But Lily ignored him and continued. "...and he certainly showed courage by asking me. And since no one had asked me yet," Lily's eyes shifted to James, who eyes were still on the Exploding Snap game. "I agreed to be his date."  
  
"Someone would've asked you, Lily-poo! You've got to have patience!" Sirius complained. "You know what, I'll ask you. Lily, will you go to Ball with me?" Sirius pleaded.   
  
"Don't you already have a date?" Lily scoffed.  
  
"Well, yes. James can take her. Better yet, go with James! I'm sure James would love to take you..." Sirius said cheerfully, with a wink.  
  
"I don't know what game your playing, Black," Lily said darkly. "But I will go with the person I intend to go with."  
  
Sirius's face scrunched up into a confused look. "Potter, I'll see you at the Heads meeting to discuss the Ball," Lily said before heading up the dormitory stairs.  
  
"What do you suppose she meant by that?" Sirius asked. "What sort of game am I playing? I wasn't playing any game. Lily-pad is mean!"  
  
Peter shrugged. But Remus looked thoughtful. "I don't know what she meant, either Sirius." Then he turned and looked at James. "What happened last night between you two?"  
  
James didn't answer.  
  
"You were pretty quiet there, James," Remus said lightly.   
  
"I'm all right," James said. "Just tired..."  
  
~*~  
  
The next night, James and Lily met up to discuss the Valentine's Day Ball. There was only one problem; communication.  
  
"So, for music...I was thinking Witches Squared," Lily suggested. She jotted her suggestion down on a piece of parchment.  
  
"Yeah," James mumbled. He couldn't stand being in the same room with Lily. A month ago he would've loved it, but now....now he didn't want to see her or talk to her.  
  
"And of course, our theme will going to be the Valentine's Day theme," Lily went on. She watched James carefully, and he finally muttered a, "Sure,"  
  
"Dress robes only," Lily said.  
  
"Fine,"  
  
"Tons of of valentine's day candy,"   
  
"Uh huh,"  
  
"A little table with valentines you can mail to your friends,"  
  
"All right,"  
  
"And then you and Snape will open the dance. Together. To the most romantic song of the evening," Lily finished.  
  
"Cool," was James's response.  
  
Lily knew now for sure that James wasn't been listening.   
  
"James, I'm really sorry." Lily told him pushing aside her parchment and quill. "I wanted to go with you...I did. But Severus got to me first, and I couldn't refuse. I can't   
  
stand seeing you like this. You're unenthusiastic, undetermined...you've just got no spirit."   
  
When James's didn't say anything, Lily sighed and packed up her bags. She reached for the doorknob when James finally said, "I told you, that night, that I would respect your feelings. And I do...but when you agreed to be Snape's date, you didn't respect mine," he said in a sort of loftily manner.   
  
Lily wanted to stay and talk a bit more, but had a gut feeling she wasn't wanted.  
  
"And..." James spoke up again, "I'm not in this mood because of you. I'm simply tired; no one, not even you, could make me feel this way."  
  
The word's hurt...but James's wasn't quite finished. "If you think you're that special to me...well, you're not..."  
  
Lily nodded and practically ran out of the classroom.  
  
~*~  
  
"I will not cry," Lily promised her, chanting the words silently. "I will not cry over a boy,"  
  
Lily raced upstairs to her dormitory, causing a stir in the common room. Opening the door and throwing her bag on her bed, she sank to her knees and sobbed.  
  
~*~  
  
"Time, where did you go?   
  
Why did you leave me here alone?  
  
Wait, don't go so fast  
  
I'm missing the moments as they pass  
  
Now I've looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer  
  
So wait for me this time   
  
I'm down I'm down on my knees I'm begging for all your sympathy  
  
But you (I'm just an illusion) you don't seem to care (I wish that I could)  
  
You humble people everywhere (I don't mean to hurt you)  
  
Now I've looked in the mirror and the worlds getting clearer  
  
I'll take what you give me. Please know that I'm learning  
  
So wait for me this time  
  
I should've know better  
  
I shouldn't have wasted those days  
  
And afternoons and mornings  
  
I threw them all away  
  
Now this is my time  
  
I'm going to make this moment mine.  
  
(I shouldn't have wasted those days)  
  
I'll take what you give me. Please know that I'm learning  
  
I've looked in the mirror  
  
My world's getting clearer  
  
So wait for me this time"  
  
~ Chantal Kreviazuk "Time"  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Like the song? I'll be adding a song in every chapter from now on...hope you like it! Sorry for the wait...I feel bad, cause I have the next 3 chapters written out. At first, I decided to end it at the end of their 7th year. Now, I've decided to expand it a bit...till their marriage. More ups and downs...more drama, and more love!! Please review!! thanks!!  
  
ALSO: There's gonna be another chapter up really soon...since I'm leaving for Canada on Friday. Please review!! 


	14. I'm Not In Love

Disclaimers: The usual!! I own none of the MAIN characters...they belong to JKR.  
  
Author's Notes: I leave for Canada in a couple hours...here's the next chapter!! Please review!! I love reviews!!! And now, some thank yous!  
  
~*~  
  
xxthunderxx: Haha! Yes, they're both being complete pains...thanks!!  
  
lightsakura14: Yes, poor Jamsie poo...haha, I love that name!! Thanks!!  
  
Little House Girl: It seems that EVERYONE realizes that Lily never meant to hurt him...except James. I love that song too!! Thanks!!  
  
:) : I love that word, awesome!! Thanks!! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!!  
  
ruhnas: Thank you!! And I will have fun...hopefully, in canada!!  
  
Kristy: Wohoo!! A new reviewer!! Thanks so much!!  
  
Sorry if I didn't include you...I know some people are on vacation or haven't checked their computers...but I promised I would post another chapter before I left for Canada, so, here it is!! I will be sure to thank you, though, if you review for chapter 13. Thanks again and enjoy!! ANd review!!!  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm Not In Love"  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, James walked in slightly cheerful. He had felt much better than he had the previous day. The morning was much more pleasant; Lily Evans was no longer his problem.  
  
Taking their regular seats, the Marauders ate their breakfast, laying out plans for their next prank. And their victim?  
  
"Lily Evans," Potter said. The three boys turned to look at James.  
  
"I think he's ill," Sirius said softly.  
  
"Must be, if you wants to play a prank on his girlfriend," Peter muttered.  
  
"I am not ill, and she is not my girlfriend" James said. James was about to continue when he heard Rachel, who was close by, say, "She was crying her heart out. I swear, none of us got any sleep...her pillow was soaked."  
  
"Do you know why?" Faryn asked.  
  
"She wouldn't say. I think it has something to do with her potions essay. She did say she needed just another centimeter," Rachel told them.   
  
James shrugged. It probably was the potions essay she was crying about. But, would a potions essay be worth crying over? James reminded himself that Lily was a perfectionist; but knowing Lily the way he did, he was sure Lily would have just added a bit more information to fill up that extra centimeter.  
  
"Did Petunia send her nasty letters again?" Anabelle asked with a disgusted look on her face. Liesl sighed.  
  
"No," Liesl responded, "Thank Merlin. But you know, I actually don't think Petunia's letters bother Lily much anymore."  
  
"Maybe one of the Marauders pulled a Crying Prank?" Matilda suggested. 6 girls turned their heads to the Marauders.   
  
James, of course, was startled and turned to join the conversation of his friends.  
  
"It's going to be the best ever!" Sirius said triumphantly.  
  
"You might think that way," Peter squeaked.   
  
"I'm looking forward to the first dance," Remus spoke up. James gave him a curious   
  
look.   
  
"The Opening Dance." Remus clarified. James shook his head, showing Remus that he didn't understand.   
  
"You and Lily,"  
  
James was confused for a minute, and then it dawned on him. "What?"  
  
"Stop gaping, Prongs. You know you want to dance the first dance with our Head Girl," Sirius said.  
  
"You're not serious! I thought...no one told me about this!" James complained, in a sort of Sirius-manner.  
  
"It's tradition for the Head Boy and Head Girl to open up the first dance together. I thought you of all people would know that," Remus said.  
  
"Well, I didn't," James snapped. "Oh no, oh no," James muttered helplessly. "I don't know how to dance. And I won't be made a fool of in front of Lily Evans,"  
  
"Why do you care? I thought you were mad at her..." Peter piped up.  
  
Sirius and Remus kicked him. "Ow!" Peter whined.  
  
"I...I am mad at her. But I certainly don't want to make a fool of myself in front of her. Or anyone else, for that matter,"  
  
"Maybe Lily doesn't know how to dance either," Sirius said, his mouth full of chicken.  
  
"Lily knows. In fact, Lily is an extremely good dancer." Remus said, helping himself to some toast. James eyed him curiously.  
  
"And how would you know this, Moony?" Srius prodded his arm.  
  
"I was reading a Muggle-book called Sleeping Beauty. And Lily told me that it's also a ballet," Remus stopped. James, Sirius, and Peter watched him expectantly.  
  
"Oh, you wanted me to go on?" Moony asked. Sirius slapped his head, James rolled his eyes, and Peter let out a chuckle.  
  
"Anyways, Lily told me that she's very well trained in ballet, jazz, and tap. She's danced since she was 4. And...her mother was a ballerina,"  
  
"You're joking, right?" Sirius said. "Well, James, I'd say you're in deep water,"  
  
"Do you know how to dance, Sirius?" James asked miserably, his plate still empty. Sirius shook his head joyfully.   
  
"I'm doomed," James complained.  
  
"James, you're not doomed. You have 2 options..." Remus said, helping himself to   
  
more food.  
  
"James, you're not eating anything," Sirius said, frowning at his plate.  
  
"One, persuade Dumbledore to break the tradition," Remus said holding up one finger. "Two...you could learn to dance," Remus said, smiling akwardly.  
  
"That, is most definitely easier said that done," James said. Sirius patted his shoulders and then grinned widely.  
  
"Here's an idea, Prongs! Get Evans to teach you! That way, you'll learn how to dance and spend more time to her,"  
  
"I'm mad at her, remember?" James reminded him. Sirius looked thoughtful.  
  
"Right. About this fight between you and Lily, James...why don't you just apologize. It's obvious you still love her..."  
  
"I don't love her," James snapped. "I never loved her. I just thought I did...you know I have bad judgement in people, Padfoot!"  
  
"Right," Sirius said, his eyes twinkling.   
  
"I'm doomed," James repeated. "What am I going to do?"   
  
"Well, I'm all out of ideas. I guess you're really doomed then," Sirius said, looking at James, then taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.  
  
~*~  
  
"After dinner that night, James went to Professor Dumbledore and demanded that the tradition be broken. Of course Dumbledore, who had started the tradition, refused. But he did give James several books on learning to dance," Lupin laughed and his whole face lit up. "I still remember," Remus said, still laughing, "all those books lying on the floor of our dormitory. Sirius was James's partner and..." Lupin broke down laughing.  
  
Harry couldn't tell what was so funny, and faked a smile. Lupin was a completely different person when he mentioned his parents. He was happier, more carefree. The laughter finally died and Professor Lupin noticed Harry was smiling at him.  
  
"There were a lot of great memories at Hogwarts." Lupin said simply. He sighed. "Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like...if we hadn't become friends with Peter." Harry looked down at his walking feet. He had wondered that a lot too.   
  
His childhood probably wouldn't have been so horrible; instead it would've been loving. He would have grown up in the wizarding world with wizarding legends. But most of all, he would've been able to see his parents and talk to his mother and father every day. And undoubtedly, it would be his James and Lily who would be telling him this story now.  
  
"In the next couple of days, James and Lily had tried desperately to avoid each other. Of course it wasn't easy with me and Sirius. But even Sirius and I aren't miracle workers...they still wouldn't talk to each other. Unless it was for preparing the Ball. James finally got the hang of dancing. And soon, it was Valentine's Day,"  
  
~*~  
  
Don't think you got me girl,  
  
Don't think you can tame me and change me,   
  
Don't think that it's all because of you,  
  
Just because I don't run around,  
  
Just because we're forever together,  
  
Don't you think of a four letter word to use   
  
So what if I just don't want anybody else but you,  
  
So what if you're all that I ever really wanna do,  
  
I know what you're thinkin' but that doesn't make it true   
  
Believe me baby  
  
I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall,  
  
I slip but no I'm not in love   
  
What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
So high above,  
  
But, girl I'm not in love   
  
Don't think you got it made,   
  
Don't think it's to easy to keep me,   
  
Never know it could all just fade away   
  
So what if I just don't want anybody else but you,   
  
So what if you're all I really wanna do,   
  
I know what you're thinkin' but that doesn't make it true   
  
Believe me baby  
  
I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall, I slip but no I'm not in love   
  
What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
So high above,  
  
But, girl I'm not in love   
  
So if my heart just skips a beat,  
  
What if I lose a little sleep   
  
Believe me!!!  
  
I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall, I slip but no I'm not in love   
  
What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
The way you feel,  
  
It makes it right,  
  
I'm not in love   
  
I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall, I slip but no I'm not in love   
  
What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
The way you feel,  
  
It makes it right,  
  
I'm not in love   
  
"I'm Not In Love" ~ BBMak  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!! Anyone notice the irony?   
  
"I don't love her," James snapped. "I never loved her. I just thought I did...you know I have bad judgement in people, Padfoot!"  
  
~ Bad judgement in people...Peter...haha. Yeah, I didn't mean for it to turn out that way...but surprisingly, that's how the words formed. Haha...please review!! 


	15. In This Lifetime

~*~  
  
Disclaimers: The same! I own NONE of these characters!!  
  
A/N: Please review!! Of course, there are the thank yous! Sorry, no special "personal" thank yous this time. No time! My cousin is here and I'm leaving in a bit to drop her off at the airport!! Please review!! And thank you to...  
  
Templa Otmena, :) , ruhnas, Little House Girl, Sirius Black Is My Sexy, lightsakura14, Cadence Arith, and Kristy!!  
  
And now, on with the show!!  
  
~*~  
  
"In This Lifetime"  
  
~*~  
  
"A little spray here, a little spray there," Sirius was using an extensive amount of cologne.  
  
Walking in the dormitory, Remus wrinkled his nose and groaned. "Sirius! You're not experimenting with the cologne again, are you?"  
  
"I'm not experimenting, Moony!" Sirius called back. "There's actually a reason to use it this time!"  
  
"I do feel much sympathy for Allison Becker," Moony said to James, who was sitting on his bed, ready to go.  
  
"You look good," Lupin told him. James smiled weakly. At last minute, James had found a date from Hufflepuff; Leslie Witt.  
  
"Leslie's nice," Remus said. James nodded. "I was surprised nobody had asked her yet,"  
  
Remus watched James carefully. "I know you'll never admit it, James, but you miss her. You miss Lily..."  
  
James made a face as though he had just heard the most absurd thing.  
  
Remus checked the clock. "I better get going. I told Rachel I would meet her at the in the common room."  
  
"I'll go with you," James offered. "We're leaving, Sirius!"  
  
"A little spray here, a little spray there," Sirius was still singing.  
  
"I think someone better warn Allison," James advised Remus, who nodded.  
  
~*~  
  
"You look gorgeous, Lily!" Anabelle cried.   
  
Lily didn't need to be told twice; she knew she was dressed up especially pretty. Her dark red hair had been pinned up elegantly. Her dress robes were the exact same color of her eyes, which was naturally a beautiful selection.  
  
In fact, all the 7th year girls were rather pretty that night. It would be their last Ball...and they had high ambitions of enjoying every moment of it.  
  
"Where is Remus?" Rachel tapped her foot impatiently. Lily laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, Rachel. Remus will be here...he's too sweet to stand you up,"  
  
"For your information, Miss Evans," Rachel said indignantly, "That wasn't even on my mind. Thanks for bringing it up,"  
  
"I'm sorry, Rachel," Lily laughed. But then, before Rachel could respond, Remus and James appeared.  
  
James stood in awe; Lily was radiant. She was beautiful; so beautiful, that James remembered all the reasons he had fallen in love with her in the first place.  
  
Of course, Lily hadn't noticed him. She was chatting with Anabelle and Matilda.  
  
"James, hi!" Rachel said, a bit too loudly. Lily snapped her head to look at James. She had to admit, that even though she had despised James for what he said to her at the end of their meeting a few night's back, he looked very handsome. He had somehow managed to keep his hair down, although one strand snuck up discreetly. He had on black robes, which suited him rather well.  
  
"Shall we go?" Remus let out his elbow, which Rachel gladly accepted.  
  
"Valentine's Day Ball, here we come!" Rachel giggled.  
  
~*~  
  
"You look lovely." Snape said, breathless, when he met up with Lily in front of the Great Hall.  
  
"Thank you," Lily blushed. "You look very nice too,"  
  
Snape indeed did look handsome, in his own way; but he could not compare to James.  
  
Snape's red robes clashed horribly with his black hair and dark eyes. His hair had in fact been washed; yet it remained greasy.   
  
"Shall we go inside?" Snape asked, thrusting forward his elbow.  
  
Lily accepted it and smiled.   
  
From behind her, James watched Lily and her date walk into the Great Hall. And for the first time in his life, he longed to be Severus Snape.  
  
~*~  
  
"Good evening. Welcome to Hogwart's Valentine's Day Ball." Dumbledore said.  
  
Applause and cheering filled the Great Hall. Lily looked around; the decorations were beautiful. The entire Great Hall was filled with floating hearts, words expressing love, and food. There was a large table off to the left that read, "Get/Send your Valentines Here!"   
  
Lily made a quick reminder to send some Valentine's to her friends. Dumbledore continued. "I would like to thank our Head Boy and Girl. As you can tell, they did a fantastic job decorating and organizing this event."  
  
Lily did have to admit; she and James did work well together. After slacking off during their first meeting...James had been extremely helpful. As long as the topic remained "Planning the Ball".  
  
"And now, to open the dance...here is your Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans," Dumbledore said, searching for the two.  
  
Lily gaped; she couldn't believe it. They were opening the first dance?   
  
"My ears must be playing tricks on me," Lily muttered. But then she saw the excitement in her friend's faces and knew that her ears had been functioning properly.  
  
"Lily, go," Anabelle whispered. Lily looked from her to Snape. James was slowly making his way onto the dance floor.  
  
"Let's go outside," Lily tugged onto Snape's arm, who seemed relieved by the idea.  
  
But it was too late; Dumbledore had spotted her in the crowd and called her forward.   
  
"Lily." he called gently. "I believe James is waiting for you."   
  
Sure enough, James Potter was waiting for Lily.   
  
"Dammit," Lily muttered.   
  
Cursing some more, Lily turned and made her way to the dance floor. Lily moved her eyes so they could meet James's. James's eyes were already on her. He took her into his arms carefully, and soon, the music began to play.   
  
Lily shifted uncomfortably for a while, perfectly aware that James was watching her.  
  
"I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer," James joked, when the first minute passed and Lily stepped on his foot for the third time.  
  
"Who told you that?" Lily's tone was flat.  
  
"Remus," James answered.  
  
"I thought you were mad at me," Lily said nonchalantly.  
  
"I'm not." James said. It was the truth; he wasn't mad at her. Upon seeing her earlier, he was. But then, once he saw her in her green robes her hair piled up high and pretty, he realized that he didn't have a reason to be mad. It was his fault he hadn't asked first; and even though it was Snape she said yes to, Lily was being Lily. The Lily James knew wouldn't have lied about already having a date, nor would she be mean to Snape. She was being herself...and for that reason alone, James couldn't hate her.  
  
James's arms tightened around her waist.  
  
"Are you mad at me?" he whispered. Lily tilted her head and bit her lip.  
  
"I'm not sure. James, we've been through so much..."  
  
"You're right. We have." James agreed. Lily bit her lip again.  
  
"I think...I think, that, maybe we should just...stop all together."  
  
James gave her a curious glance. Stop all together? What did that mean?  
  
"You don't know how much pain you've cause me. Your words alone...what you said to me that night..." James could already glimpse the tears forming. The song was ending; as was their entire relationship.  
  
"I'm not asking you, James, for your approval. I am making it final," Lily said, as the song finished, and she walked off hurriedly.  
  
"It seems you two had a lot of talk about," Sirius said as he approached James, with Peter in tow.  
  
"Yeah, we did," James mumbled hoarsley. "We're over. We're done with. Tell Cupid he shouldn't waste his time..." James said, before walking out of the Great Hall.  
  
~*~  
  
"Sirius and Peter told me what happened," Remus said, as he found James sitting outside the Great Hall, his back against the wall.  
  
The music was blaring and everyone was inside, dancing and having the time of their lives. Except two.  
  
"I've given up. I don't know how to do it anymore, Moony." James said. "Is it me? Have I changed? We were fine...just fine. And because I didn't ask her soon enough, our relationship is gone. Did I do something wrong? I mean, she asked for time..." James was beginning to sound bitter.  
  
"Shut up, Prongs," Remus said sharply. "I don't even know what this fight with Lily is about anymore! It's so damn complicated! You did this, she did this..."  
  
"I don't know either." James admitted. "But I know, for sure, that I've given up on her. You can go tell her if you want...I'm sure she'd love you to death," James commented dryly.  
  
"Stop it, James!" Remus said helplessly. "The worst thing you can do, you've already done. You don't just give up on love!" He was clearly upset. "I know you. And I know Lily. And I know that if you and Lily don't end up together...then there isn't much hope for the rest of us."  
  
"We're not role models, Moony!" James cried in frustration. "Just because our relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean yours won't work out,"  
  
"...life is like love. Life will hand you bumps in the road...love does that too. You and Lily have had plently of bumps...but to tell whether you love her or not, is if you work through the bumps." Remus frowned. "Did you get that?"  
  
"Not one bit," James said, with a hint of amusement.  
  
"My philosophy is," Remus started again, "That love will throw obstacles in your way every chance they get. And once you find the perfect person, love will see how far you're willing to go for your person. You and Lily have gone pretty far....what's one more obstacle?"  
  
James chuckled. "You and philosphy," Remus grinned. "So, what do you say? Have you given up on her?" Remus asked.  
  
James stood up and smiled at Remus. "Not in this lifetime,"  
  
~*~  
  
"There are so many reasons that I find to run to you   
  
Cos there's so little loving in my life, now I am away   
  
And thinking about it I want things back how they used to be   
  
There is no way round it, nothing good comes easily   
  
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong   
  
So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong   
  
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else   
  
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away   
  
Are you finding it hard it all on your own   
  
Having to face each night alone   
  
Knowing that you are the one with the love that I need   
  
And I miss you more each day   
  
So many feelings emotions running away with me   
  
Cos it's you that I believe in and I love this one so deep   
  
So much between us and we both know that it's wrong   
  
Now I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong   
  
Back where I belong   
  
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else   
  
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away   
  
Are you finding it hard it all on your own   
  
Having to face each night alone   
  
Knowing that you are the one with the love that I need   
  
And I miss you more each day   
  
So I keep on waiting till I am back where I belong   
  
Back where I belong   
  
So here I am all by myself thinking of you nobody else   
  
There is a feeling inside and as hard as I try it just won't go away   
  
Are you finding it hard it all on your own   
  
Having to face each night alone   
  
Knowing that you are the one with the love that I need   
  
And I miss you more each day"  
  
~ "Miss You More" - BBMak  
  
~*~  
  
A/N: Hope ya enjoyed it!! This chapter was a bit more fun to write, just to let you know...hopefully the reviews will come in!! Thanks you guys~! 


	16. Everything's Okay Again

"Everything's Okay Again"

"May I cut in?" James asked as politely as he could. Snape looked bewildered, as did Lily.  
  
"Potter..." Snape growled, not letting go of Lily.  
  
"Please," James said shortly. Snape looked at Lily, who looked at him back expectantly.  
  
"Fine," Snape grumbled. "Fine,"  
  
James replaced Snape and took Lily in his arms.   
  
"What are you doing?" she hissed. "I didn't want to make a scene in front of Severus but..."  
  
"I just wanted to let you know, that even though you think it's over between us...I'm not giving up." James told him.  
  
Lily sighed. "James, please, don't make this any harder..."  
  
"I'm telling you Lily. I'm not giving you up. Not now. Not ever." James said firmly. He looked her in the eye, and Lily knew he meant every word he had just said.  
  
"Why?" she asked. "Why?"  
  
"Because I love you too damn much to give up now." James said simply. "And I know, that somewhere in your heart...you love me too."  
  
The song ended, and James headed back to the table where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were seated, leaving behind a very dumbstruck Lily Evans.  
  
The Ball ended shortly after at around midnight, much to the dismay of many.   
  
Matilda yawned as she entered the girl's dormitory. Lily and Felicia were already there.  
  
"What a great night," she mumbled happily. "It went better than I expected it to be,"  
  
"Hmm," Lily couldn't agree.   
  
As Matilda mumbled on about how wonderful it had been, Lily lost herself in her own feelings and thoughts. The Yule Ball hadn't been horrible; no, but it wasn't spectacular either. Her last interaction with James had made her think twice. Did she love him? Had she ever loved him?   
  
Lily shook her head almost violently. Of course she had loved him...somehow, he managed to charm her, and she had indeed, like so many other girls, ended up falling for James Potter. But what about now? Had she ever fallen out of love with him?  
  
James said he wouldn't give up...and Lily knew he wouldn't. James was presistent, determined...but what if one day, he did give up. Would that make her happy? Or, would it just make her feel miserable all over again?  
  
"Are you okay, Lily? You're talking to yourself," Felicia asked her worried.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just, thinking about something." Lily said, suddenly feeling apologetic for not listening to Matilda. Glancing over at Matilda, Lily saw that she had collapsed onto her bed.  
  
"Did Severus walk you back?" Felicia asked.  
  
"He did, actually. Severus is very charming...I wish more people would realize that," Lily said sadly. "He's a wonderful person,"  
  
"It's sad, it is. How was James this evening?" Felicia asked, pressing on the issue she was eager to discuss. Lily immediately felt defensive.  
  
"I don't know," she said sharply. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Oh nothing," Felicia said innocently. "It's just you two seemed to have a lot to talk about during the Opening Dance. And during the dance James cut in on..."  
  
"Oh, we were just admiring the decorations. That's all," Lily said quickly. Felicia looked unconvinced.  
  
"Come on, Lily. You might as well stop the act; you miss him."  
  
"I don't miss James. No one can miss James. He's like this annoying little fly that never leaves you alone..."  
  
"He loves you, you know," Felicia told her. "The way he looks at you...the way he holds you..."  
  
"James Potter doesn't know how to love." Lily scoffed. "The only person he loves is himself."  
  
"Lily, you may be the smartest witch in our year... but when it comes to love, you're just plain stupid," Felicia said, before walking into the bathroom.  
  
Another day passed, and then another. And soon, the winter holiday was over. Classes resumed and everything returned to normal; well, almost.   
  
James and Lily had not spoken since the night of the Ball. They weren't avoiding each other, no, they were simply too busy with their classes, friends, homework, and preparing for their N.E.W.T.s.   
  
Occasionally, James would watch Lily in class. It was fairly easy, and Lily hardly ever noticed, since she was too preoccupied with her work. Lily always sat in the front row, and he would watch her copy her notes and pay close attention to Professor McGonagall, or Professor Flitwick.   
  
But in Potions, Lily would sit in the backrow, hoping not to be called on as an experiment from Professor Wilts.   
  
His assignment done, James took out a spare piece of parchment and started doodling. The letters L.E. quickly found their way onto the parchment, and James stole a glance at Lily, who was still working intently on her paper, frowning as she wrote.   
  
"That will be all today. If you did not finish your paper, finish it tonight. I will be collecting it tomorrow!" Professor Wilts called as the class rushed out of the classroom.   
  
Standing up and collecting his things, James kept a close watch on Lily, careful to not make it seem obvious. Lily remained seated, still frowning at her paper. She bit her lip again, then wrote something down. Reading it again, she frowned almost sadly, and erased the bit she had just written.  
  
The classroom was nearly empty. Except for Lily, who was still focused on her paper, and James, who was watching her.  
  
"Need some help?" James asked gently. Lily looked up for the first time.  
  
"Huh?" Lily asked, unaware that class had ended.   
  
"Class is over," James said lightly. Lily looked around, and sure enough, the class had ended.   
  
"Oh!" Lily cried. "I'm sorry. I've just been so stressed and I can't write this essay and..." Lily caught herself before she could continue. "Thank you,"  
  
"Anytime," James said, trying to sound casual. This was their first conversation since the night of the Ball, and he wasn't about to ruin it.  
  
"I really should get going. I have Ancient Runes next..." Lily stood up.  
  
"I know," James said simply. "Can I walk you to class?"  
  
"Err, no. I don't think that's such a good idea," Lily confessed. "Bye James," Lily said quietly as she left the classroom.  
  
James rubbed his eyes and yawned widely. It was nearly 1 AM in the morning, and he had just returned from the library, exhausted from his homework. Entering the Gryffindor common room, he didn't expect anyone to still be awake. How wrong he was.  
  
A head lay on the table closest to the fire. Flaming red hair lay rested on deserted parchment. A quill was in her hand. James smiled to herself. He didn't want to disturb her; Lily looked angelic. So innocent. So pure.  
  
"Lily," he shook her softly, gently.  
  
Lily groaned, but didn't wake up.  
  
"Lily," James tried again.  
  
"Another minute, Mum," Lily whined.   
  
"Lily," James laughed, shaking her harder. Lily's head popped up.  
  
"Oh! James!" Lily cried. "What are you doing in my room!"  
  
"You're not in your room. Your at Hogwarts...Gryffindor Common Room..." James reminded her.  
  
Lily looked confused for a moment, then looked down at her long piece of parchment and the quill in her hand. The 3 books in the corner lay open.  
  
"Oh, James," Lily ran her hand through her thick red hair, making it even messier, "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired. And I just...I can't concentrate." Lily felt like she was going to cry.  
  
Although James too was extremely tired, he wanted to cheer Lily up a bit. What was so demanding that would tear Lily's concentration away from her studies? A sudden reason formed in James's head, but he quickly chased it away.  
  
James peered over at her parchment and saw that she was still working on the Potions essay she had been having trouble with in class.  
  
"You need help?" James asked. Lily blushed and snatched her Potions essay away from James's prying eyes.  
  
"No," she stuttered. "I'm nearly finished. I just dozed off..."  
  
"Come on Lily. Head up to bed...you're going to need your sleep. Finish it in the morning,"  
  
"Finish it in the morning?" Lily looked scandalized. "I couldn't...I would never get a good night's sleep if the homework wasn't complete. Honestly James, just head up to bed...I'll go to sleep as soon as I finish all my assignments," Lily promised.  
  
James looked doubtful; among the books, he also saw that Lily hadn't completed the Transfiguration homework either or her Ancient Runes essay.  
  
"Give me your potions essay," James requested. Lily, too tired to argue, handed it over. James read over it.  
  
"For one thing, you could elaborate a bit more about the ingredients. The dragon's tail can also be used for the Remedy Potion, which explains why it's a successful ingredient for the Mare's Potion." James explained.   
  
Lily looked at him for a moment. Then grabbing her quill, she copied down the information James had just explained.  
  
"Now, the rat's tail..."  
  
Lily did get some sleep that night; which allowed her have the energy for another day of classes. Lily caught James right before he entered transfiguration.  
  
"Thank you, James," she said, meeting his eye.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"For helping me with my homework last night. I know I never would have finished without your help..."  
  
"Well then, your welcome," James said shyly. He smiled at her. "I was happy to,"  
  
Lily just smiled back and walked into the classroom.   
  
Authors Note:   
  
So, I have made a return! School is out for the summer and I have suddenly found myself with a lot more time! I read my story from the beginning last night, and I realized how many "inaccurate" things I have written....things I said happened in beginning chapters but didn't happen in later chapters....I apologize.   
  
I should have planned it out more carefully, but this is my first real successful story. So, please bear with me...  
  
Thank you all so much for your constant support and reviews! Thanks! 


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